Cranberries and Bread

Just got fired.

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 20:13:34 GMT

I came in to work today to find out that, because business has been so slow, my boss has decided to let me go "for now." That means that I'm just going to be jobless until he gets tired of working my shift, but until then I'm going to have to rely on charity from my family.

Perfect time of year for it, doncha think?

At least it'll give me time to work on more creative pursuits while I look for another place to work.

Veggie Time!

Fri, 07 Aug 2009 01:30:07 GMT

This is my first year growing a vegetable garden, and so far I'm liking it. I've managed to pick some vegetables off of it throughout the year, but today I actually had to get something to carry them all in. And then took a picture because I'm boastful like that. *grin*

The Righteous Man Regardeth (Part 3)

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:46:37 GMT

Jeff was a big man, but wasn’t as bad as Jensen thought he’d be, being the Alpha Wolf of a bunch of Therians. His eyes sparked with good humor, and he met Jensen’s ‘sir’s with a chuckle and a request for him to “Just call me Jeff. I work for my money, son.”

The entire place felt like a bit family cookout, Jensen decided. Only, strangely, there weren’t any kids around. But there was a pile of barbecue and people sitting in groups and chatting, A group of people were finishing up a pick-up game of football at one end of the field by the time Jensen had downed a couple hot dogs, and it was all sort of surreal. But even with all the normality around him, there was a couple Wolves already in their fur chasing each other around the area, and over by the trees a woman was tossing a Frisbee for another Wolf to catch, much to the amusement of the small crowd that had gathered.

There were about twenty or so Therians in the area, though judging by how many were already running around on all fours, their exact numbers were impossible to gauge.

When the sun started to set, though, that’s when things got weird. People would start trickling over to their tents, but instead of getting in they’d stand outside the tents and start stripping, just tossing their clothes into the tent and shifting there. Once they were furry, they’d maybe join up in a small group or go solo into the forest, but the clearing was emptying quickly.

Jensen could feel that electrified sensation grow as the sky darkened more and more. He couldn’t help but occasionally run a hand over his ears to see if they got bigger, or checking his fingers for claws, but there were no changes yet.

“You’re not going to change until the sun’s completely gone,” an amused voice chuckled, and Jensen glanced up to see Jared had somehow appeared at his side without him noticing.

“Ah, I ain’t worried,” Jensen shrugged.

Jared’s eyes twinkled with humor. “Really?”

Jensen nodded, total assurance for a minute, before slumping slightly and sighing. “Yeah, I’m nervous.”

Jared nodded. “That’s alright, we were all a virgin once.”

Jensen spluttered a laugh. “What?”

“You know, a virgin. You get to pop your shifting cherry tonight.”

“Dude, that’s so wrong.”

“But so true,” Jared said, poking Jensen in the belly hard enough to hurt.

“Dick,” Jensen said, punching Jared’s bicep. Jared replied with a another ruffling of Jensen’s hair. Jensen went to smack Jared in his belly, but Jared dodged just in time. A look up at Jared showed him grinning in a way that made Jensen worry for all of a moment before he was tackled into the ground by what seemed like four hundred pounds of Therian.

Jensen oofed as all the breath rushed out of him, but as soon as he got his bearings he twisted his leg over Jared’s waist and flipped them so that he was on top. He tried putting Jared into a sleeper hold, but he managed to twist out of it and get Jensen on his belly, his arms twisted behind his back.

“Say, Uncle!” Jared crowed.

“Never!” Jensen growled, trying to throw the heavier man off of him. That didn’t work in the least: Jared was an unmovable weight on his back.

“C’mon, Jen,” Jared breathed, and Jensen froze when he realized Jared’s face was so close to his own that Jared was breathing hot into his ear. “Forfeit, you know I won.”

Jensen tensed, instinctively wanting to fight back, a part of him wanting to throw Jared off and put *him* on his belly, but the other half, the half that was getting louder and louder, told him to yield.

Eventually he relaxed, his whole body going limp under Jared. “Alright,” he said into the ground. “Uncle.”

“Good,” Jared said, and nipped the back of Jensen’s bared neck. The pinch and pressure of teeth was there and gone almost before Jensen realized it, but by then Jared was off of Jensen and on his feet. Jensen sat up, fingertips touching the back of his neck. It was strange, but there seemed to have been a sudden weight that was on his shoulders, but Jared pinning him down and biting him, even if it was just that little nip, made him feel so much lighter. A tension so subtle he hadn’t even noticed it had been spreading across the width of his shoulders, and it was suddenly gone and the relief he felt was amazing.

‘I submitted to him,’ Jensen realized. ‘He’s now, what? My Alpha or something? What does that mean in the long run?’

The thought made him slightly uncomfortable.

“We need to get you to your tent, Jen,” Jared said, surprising him into looking up. Some time during their wrestling match the sky had darkened further, and Jared was a dark shadow against the sky.

“What?” Jensen said, still concentrating on the feeling of teeth at his neck.

Jared made a gesture towards his ears, and Jensen instinctively reached up to run his hand along the edge of his ear. His ear felt like it’d be pinched at the top and pulled, shaped into a pointed tip, and even as he felt out the shape he could feel it changing and growing.

Jared reached out a hand towards Jensen. “C’mon, lets get you to your tent. Trust me, you do *not* want to experience shifting in your clothes.”

“Yeah,” Jensen said, reaching up to take Jared’s hand, but pausing at the sight of the shape of his fingers twisting, his nails slowly turning black and hooked. Jared grabbed Jensen’s hand and hauled him bodily to his feet and began dragging him over to the tents.

“You‘ll shift on your own this time,” Jared said when they got to Jensen’s tent. “So hurry up and get undressed.”

“Not even a movie first, Jeeze,” Jensen muttered as he pulled his shirt off over his head and tossed it into the open tent behind him. He kicked off his shoes and watched for a moment while his toes seemed to take the opportunity to shorten, his big toe almost shrinking to nothing. Balancing precariously on his half-formed feet he snaked his belt off and started to unbutton his jeans. Right before he pulled them off, however, he hesitated and glanced at Jared.

“Don’t worry,” Jared said, “You won’t have anything nobody else has ever seen. Unless you’ve got some really adventurous tattoos.”

“That’s not it,” Jensen said with a tongue that felt odd in his mouth. “When are you going to start?”

“When you finish,” Jared said. “I’ve been doing this long enough to wait.”

Jensen nodded and pushed his jeans down, though he almost toppled over when he stepped out of them. Both the jeans then the underwear was thrown into the tent, and Jensen almost wanted to close his eyes as he felt the changes begin to speed up, but he couldn’t help but watch as the bones under his skin twisted and shift. He expected it to hurt, but there was only a dim sort of ache, like a healing bruise. His ears traveling up his skull was a novel sensation, but it was the tail sprouting from the base of his spine that was the strangest part. Eventually he couldn’t remain upright and felt forward, but his legs had shortened and arms lengthened enough that a quadruped stance was comfortable. His face pushed out into a muzzle, and he felt with his tongue the sharp teeth in his new maw. Finally came the fur, mottled like a natural wolf’s, but tending towards blond, like his hair.

And then his senses opened up, and it was like nothing he’d ever experienced. Most startling was his nose: He could smell *everything*. The tent smelled like canvas and dust and Jared, and he could smell his own clothes inside the tent - his natural smell, overlaid with sweat and smoke from the small bonfire that a couple Wolves were staying behind to tend to all night and his own aftershave. The air itself was a virtual cornucopia of interesting scents: some he could recognize, like certain flowers, while others were a mystery that made Jensen want to track them down one by one to find out just what they were.

Only slightly less impressive was his hearing, and while feeling them twitch was an interesting sensation, he noticed that sounds were sharper - he was able to better pinpoint just where each sound was coming from.

Disappointingly, his eyesight was only marginally better as a Wolf than as a human. Everything was much clearer, for one. No need for glasses as a Wolf, apparently. And though his night vision was certainly better, he didn’t exactly notice more, or have super-binocular vision like he’d heard some animals had.

He felt something nudge him in the side, and he jumped when he saw a larger, darker Wolf at his side. He was so engrossed with what was happening to him he didn’t even notice Jared shift. Jared nudged him again and started licking Jensen’s face and snout enthusiastically, hopping around him like a puppy with a sugar high. Jensen understood the feeling. He felt hyped up, he wanted to move. He wanted to *run.*

Jensen slapped the ground with both forepaws, rump in the air before darting to the side, an invitation to play, even if he didn’t know that was quite what he was doing. He was working all on instinct. Jared chuffed a bark and quickly trotted a few paces out towards the trees. Jensen followed, and Jared sped up until they were running flat-out.

Jensen could finally *understand.* He understood why Jared talked about merely running like it was the greatest thing since string cheese. It was freedom, pure and simple. He could easily forget his worries of his human life; the bills he had to pay, working, dealing with his dad, if only he could have this. Running like this, pounding the ground with all four paws, just *flying* across the ground, wind whipping past his face. He was just *inhaling* different scents, and many of them he wanted to investigate, see where he led, but Jared was still running and Jensen had to follow.

Eventually Jared slowed to a trot, and they reached a stream. Both of them panting, they lapped up the clear water and collapsed on the cool grass at the side. They didn’t need an extended rest, and before long Jared nipped at Jensen’s flanks and they were off once again.

At one point Jared seemed to catch a scent that made him excited and he darted off, chasing after something small and scurrying. Jensen was about to follow when he saw movement out of the corner of his eyes. He looked over and it was a darkly furred Wolf, sitting with his mouth open in a doggy grin. Jensen sniffed, taking in this strange Wolf’s scent and whimpered at the undercurrent of something.. Off. A sickness so subtle that it was difficult to get a bead on it.

The Wolf stood, and Jensen took a couple steps back, ears flat against his skull. The Wolf huffed, and loped off, long legs letting him disappear into the night.

Uncomfortable, Jensen followed Jared’s scent trail, and found him teasing a fox that had retreated into it’s den.

Dawn was creeping over the horizon when they started heading back to the camp site. Jared walked with Jensen over to his tent, both of them panting and a little overheated from their bouts of running and rest. Like the others, Jensen had left the flap open, so all he had to do was nudge it a little and he was able to slip inside. He turned, waiting for Jared to follow, but instead he saw Jared’s rump as he headed for his own tent.

Jensen whined low in his throat - he wanted Jared to come in with him. He wanted, he *needed* to talk to Jared about what just happened, the fantastical experience needed to be shared. He doubted he’d be able to find the words to describe just *how* he felt, but he think of something, surely. But when he eeled out of his tent and tried to follow Jared, the bigger Wolf made a low noise - not quite a whine or a growl, but something like the mixture of the two and tried to nudge Jensen to his own tent. Jensen barked, a belligerent ‘No,’ but at that Jared growled. He didn’t show his teeth, he didn’t need to. Jensen got the message: he was to go back to his own tent, and alone.

Head low and ears back, Jensen retreated back to his tent. Once inside, he paused: he didn’t know how to turn back. His body automatically shifted into his fur, but he didn’t know if it worked the same in reverse.

He closed his eyes, and tried to imagine being human again. Normal, slightly panicky, a little nearsighted, Jensen Ackles. His body knew what it was like to be human and was used to that, he hoped. It seemed to work, he could feel the changes happening in reverse, his legs lengthening, his muzzle shortening, and his eyesight grew blurry as usual, and eventually the same old Jensen Ackles was sitting there in his tent, heart still pounding from the night’s events.

He considered for all of half a second finding some boxers to sleep in or something, but he was too wiped out to go messing around with his duffle. Instead, he zipped up the tent and flopped back onto his sleeping bag, too warm to climb inside.

Way too warm. Burning, actually. Jensen’s skin still felt hot, even if that charged, staticky feeling under his skin had all but dissipated. And a certain part of him was up and awake, even if the rest of him felt like he could sleep for months.

Jensen reached down to fondle himself and hissed at the intense feeling. It felt like a jolt of electricity ran straight from his cock to his brain. “Shit,” Jensen hissed, and wrapped his palm around his dick, thumbing the head. Just that little bit was enough to make him groan, and he let go of himself just long enough to spit into his hand before jacking himself, hand flying on his cock. He distantly wondered if this was why Jared wouldn’t follow him in, if he knew that Jensen would be feeling like he mainlined Viagra.

Was Jared affected like this? Was he sitting in his tent right now jacking himself off? Did he stroke himself slowly, or did he feel like Jensen, and he wanted to come Rightdamnfuckingnow? Jensen trailed the tips of his fingers up the shaft, shuddering at the teasing touch. What would Jared do if Jensen stepped out of his tent, walked over and got into his tent with him?

He remembered how Jared just completely overpowered him in their earlier wrestling match, and shuddered, thrusting into his hand. Would Jared hold him down just like that again? He wouldn’t imagine Jared would just use Jensen, he’d take Jensen and fuck him and make him love every second of it. Finally he’d bite down, sink his teeth into the skin of Jensen’s neck deep enough to leave a mark even with his Therian healing. Staking a claim, Jensen was *his.*

At that last little bit of fantasy Jensen shot like a rocket, shuddering and gasping like he’d never had an orgasm before.

Jensen let go of his softening dick, his hand falling limp at his side.

He couldn’t believe he just fantasized about a guy fucking him. *Jared* fucking him.

He knew if he was just a little less exhausted, the afterglow a little less intense, he’d be freaking out about it. As it was, he barely had the energy to grab his dirty shirt and mop up the mess on his belly and chest. He was still too warm for the sleeping bag, so he sprawled over the top, shut his eyes, and promised himself he’d angst over his uncomfortable new fantasies in the morning.

-----------------------------

Jensen woke the next morning to the scent of breakfast cooking. Still unmoving, he smiled and took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the scent of bacon, sausage, and eggs. Hs stomach growled in protest at it’s empty state, and he levered himself up to begin his new day.

He paused in the act of pulling a clean shirt out of his bag, caught by surprise at the *smell* of his clothes. He pressed the shirt to his face, inhaling the clean scent. The detergent and fabric softener was not quite too strong, but he could still faintly detect his own personal scent on the clothing from the last time it was worn.

Whatever else happened last night, that phenomenal sense of smell remained, obviously. Jensen’s hand flew to his nose, graphing out the shape: it felt like a regular human nose, not like when he shifted to his skin he forgot to get his face or something, but he couldn’t see how he could still be smelling that stuff.

He needed to talk to Jared.

He threw on a bunch of clothes, managing just by luck to pull off an outfit that didn’t look outrageous, ran a brush through his hair, pulled his shoes on, and was out of the tent.

He couldn’t see Jared at first, and the opening to his tent was gaping open and empty, so, uncomfortable something might be wrong with him, he weaved his way past tents and people to try to find is ginormous friend.

One thing he definitely noticed once he was out and moving though, was that the place *stank* of sex. The smell of cooked food was only masking the reek, but every tent he passed by smelled of male or female release.

He knew that his face was definitely red (not really a prude, no, he just never was in a place where so many people were so obviously having sex, and he went to college) when he finally spotted Jared sitting down with a couple others, already tucking into a meal. Jensen sighed, ‘of course.’

He headed over, meeting other’s polite greetings and good mornings with a nod, but with his full attention on Jared. The same Jared who glanced up and saw him coming and blanched before regaining his composure. He said something to the others that Jensen couldn’t hear (apparently the super hearing didn’t stick around either) and climbed to his feet, leaving his breakfast behind and loping over. Jared was all long legs and Jensen was still walking in his direction, so he got to Jensen quickly.

“Jensen, hey,” Jared said once they were close enough to talk without shouting. “What’s wrong? You look like you’re ready to freak out.”

Jensen made a weird sound that was a mix between a groan and a laugh, and probably would never be able to reproduce such a noise again on his life when he was suddenly reminded of what he’d masturbated over last night and how he promised himself he’d freak out in the morning. Well, he was still freaking out, but it was over something completely different.

“Something’s wrong, Jared,” Jensen said lowly, looking around to make sure where wasn’t anyone close enough to overhear. He didn’t know what Wolves would do to defectives, but he really didn’t want to find out.

“What Jensen, are you okay?” Jared asked, immediately concerned, the line of his shoulders tense. Over the smell of breakfast Jensen could smell Jared’s toothpaste, which reminded him he needed to do the same.

“I think when I shifted back I might have done something wrong, because I can still smell things like a Wolf can,” Jensen said, keeping his voice level even though he wanted to shout everything out.

Jared’s shoulders seemed to slump in what looked like relief, and Jared let out a chuckling breath, “Nah, that’s fine, Jensen. You’re just officially a Lycanthrope in human form now - we all have a sharper sense of smell. Just some have a better one than others,” he said.

“Oh,” Jensen said, feeling mildly like an idiot. Jensen could still smell Jared’s breath, and over the smell of breakfast Jensen could smell Jared’s toothpaste, which reminded him he needed to do the same. And now that he was actively *sniffing* Jared, and oh God was he hoping he was being discreet about it, he could tell that Jared also jerked off the night before, though he made an attempt to clean up.

And oh *God,* if Jensen could still smell it on Jared even after a shower at the small bathing facilities they had, when he was walking past all those people he might as well have been wearing a giant neon sign proclaiming, “I MASTURBATED LAST NIGHT!” for all the world to see.

“Well,” okay, Jensen said, trying to not let his panic show on his face or voice. “Well, I need to go finish getting cleaned up and stuff, so I’ll… talk to you later.”

If Jared’s growing little smirk was any indication, he knew exactly what Jensen had figured out, and was vastly amused by it. “Okay Jen,” he said, and Jensen could even *hear* the smirk in the voice. “I’ll save you some breakfast, you go ahead and do what you need to.”

Jensen nodded, turned around, and tried to spot a nice secluded tree for him to bang his head against a few times.

------------------------

Maybe it was sparked by that bite on the next that started the whole mess, maybe it was the fantasies his mind conjured up out of no where the night before, but Jensen couldn’t keep his eyes off of Jared at all for the rest of the day.

He was mesmerized by the shape of Jared’s mouth on his little plastic fork as he ate, the way his T shirt pulled across his chest. At one point Jared and Jensen went with a small group of others to a nearby lake for some swimming, and when Jared picked up a man almost Jensen’s size and bodily haul him up and into the air, Jensen was glad that the water wasn’t clear enough to make things embarrassing for him.

He had no idea where the sudden fascination with Jared stemmed from; Yes, he was a great guy, and Jensen could definitely admit that he had an awesome body, especially after seeing it naked in his living room, but he never lusted after another man in his life. He was always happy with women, with their soft curved bodies, and their little touched of femininity in even the most tomboyish ones. Except for a very mild experimentation back in High School, the thought of doing anything sexual towards another man never even crossed his mind.

What was even stranger was that even though he could picture Jared fucking him (Oh *God* could he picture Jared fucking him, and he head to duck underwater and swim away from people for a little while until his body calmed down) whenever he thought about doing the same to Jared his mind refused to dwell on it, shuddering away from the thought and leaving behind a sense of wrongness.

‘I’m such his bitch,’ Jensen realized. The thought, strangely enough, didn’t really bother him.

He saw people start to head out of the lake, grabbing towels and blankets as, apparently, their time was up. Jensen glanced at the sky and realized to some surprise that it was already evening, and if they wanted to get some food in their bellies before the main event that night they needed to head to the camp site.

Jared waited for Jensen at the dock, and the two of them walked back together, tired from their swim but relaxed. They took turns nudging each other with their shoulders as they walked, gradually increasing in force until, by the time they reached the site, they were almost pushing each other off the path, and when one saw the other coming he had to plant his feet and brace himself. Jared at the weight behind his pushes, but Jensen had the lower center of gravity and was stockier, so they were pretty evenly matched.

Spirits high and in good humor, they got some of whatever was cooking on the grill (barbecue ribs, that night) and found a secluded area to eat in peace.

Jared seemed to be pretty popular in the group, he always had somebody or another stopping by the chat for a little while, and even Jensen was getting approached for friendly conversation, even though with his shyness he was probably not the most open and welcoming figure. Therefore, Jensen was glad for the opportunity for them to talk, just between the two of them.

Oh, he wasn’t going to admit to Jared at he had a crush on him the size of California, oh *hell* no. It was just… nice, just sitting with his friend. That was all.

Neither of them had changed after their swim, and were both sitting in their drying trunks, shirtless. They were close enough together than Jensen could feel the heat emanating from Jared, and even though Jared’s eating-sounds were a little gross, he had absolutely no desire to move away.

At one point, Jared looked over at Jensen and smiled, putting down the piece of rib he was gnawing on long enough to ask, “Are you looking forward to tonight?”

Jensen nodded emphatically, taking a moment to chew and swallow before replying, “Oh hell yeah, last night was just as fun as you said it’d be.”

“See?” Jared teased. “Not as bad as you thought, huh?”

There was a smudge of barbecue sauce on Jared’s lower lip, right above his chin. “Well, I never thought it’d be *boring,* just never expected anything like that. You willingly give this up to *work?* Crazy.”

Jared chuckled and wiped his mouth across the back of his hand, but only succeeded in smudging that bit of sauce. “Well, you don’t *have* to stay in your fur all night, just once a night you have to shift into your fur, and then you can shift back and be fine.”

“What happens if you don’t shift?” Jensen asked. He could practically taste that bit of barbecue sauce.

“You ever hear about people who get so wound up in work and kids and stuff like that and they don’t take time off to relax and vent, and they end up kind combusting? Imagine that, but with a Wolf.”

The mental image shook Jensen out of his condiment-lust. “Ouch,” he said

Jared nodded. “No kidding.” He seemed to finally remember the paper napkins he brought with him and reached for one, but when it raised it to his face, Jensen, moving before properly thinking things through like the good, *sane* man he thought he was, leaned over and licked Jared’s chin, tongue dragging over barbecue sauce and Jared’s slightly scruffy skin and a surprisingly soft lower lip. He leaned back, surprised in himself and noticed that he’d rested a hand on top of Jared’s thigh for balance.

Jared looked at Jensen, mouth hanging open slightly, a damp line on his chin from Jensen’s tongue.

Jensen’s face felt warm enough to fry an egg on, and he knew he must flaming (ha) red. He expected Jared to say something, or do something - punch him, push him away, turn him down gently, something. No, Jared just closed his mouth, an odd expression on his face that Jensen couldn’t quite decipher.

Cursing himself, he withdrew his hand and scooted a couple feet away from Jared. One tiny act, and he probably ruined their friend ship. He was such an idiot.

He nearly jumped out of his skin, though, when Jared thumped his hand down on his shoulder. “C’mon, Jen,” he said, an odd note in his voice. “Let’s throw this stuff out and head back to our tents, we want to get an early start on tonight.”

Though his belly was churning and his mind was racing to try and decipher Jared’s mood (was he upset at Jensen? Did he not care? Was he going to throw Jensen out of his house as soon as this whole Full Moon thing was over?) he nodded and gathered both his and Jared’s discarded plates. Jared still had some food left on his, and Jared felt his stomach plummet - if Jared was leaving a plate anything but licked clean he had to be upset.

Jensen still had the taste of barbecue-flavored Jared in his mouth.

Back at the camp site, Jensen tossed the paper plates into one of the ubiquitous trash bags set up all around the place, and once more they headed towards Jensen’s tent.

“Strip,” Jared said shortly when they got there, and Jensen immediately started to obey, but his fingers froze in the act of slicking down his still-damp trunks when Jared hooked his thumbs into his own shorts and pulled them off.

He’d already started to shift by the time Jensen finally recovered enough wits to pull his own trunks down and off, and Jensen closed his eyes to concentrate on his Wolf form.

Imagine his surprise when just as he started to shift, a warm, naked body pressed close. His eyes flew open to see Jared pressed up against him, and Jared had enough time to press his mouth against Jensen’s and to reach around to grab Jensen’s ass with one not-quite-human hand and pull Jensen’s hips close until neither of them were human enough to keep standing.

Once in his fur, Jensen took a couple steps away from Jared, his head slung low and tail lip. He was confused as hell, not having a clue as to what Jared was playing at.

Jared, however, was looking into the forest. He glanced at Jensen, huffed a command to follow, and began loping out. He only went a few paces out when he seemed to realize Jensen wasn’t following, and turned around.

Jensen was sitting right where he was before, looking down at the grass between his two forepaws. Jared barked, more an sharp outlet of air than a real bark, ‘*come*.’

Jensen ignored him. Jared was acting weird - if he was mad at Jensen, he wouldn't have kissed him, right? But Jared was certainly acting weird, stalking back to Jensen and growling low, a command to *obey.* Jensen, pouting (even he had to admit it,) lay down and curled into a tight ball, looking for all the world he was one sheep away from falling asleep.

What he didn’t expect was the snarl and the teeth at the thick fur of his yanking hard enough to hurt. He yelped, loud enough to draw the attention of a few Wolves, in their fur and out, but instead of coming over to rescue Jensen from the big bully, they looked away, some even walking in the other direction. Jared tugged again, apparently thinking that if Jensen wouldn’t follow on his own, then he’d *make* him follow.

Jensen had enough, even a part of him was cringing at the thought, he spun around and snapped at Jared. He didn’t want to bite him, he just wanted the message to get through that he was *not* wanting to be bugged.

Jared didn’t like that, not at all. He fell on Jensen, pressing him into the ground with his own body. Jensen was reminded of their wrestling the other day, when Jared did much the same thing. Only instead of the more light hearted, “Say Uncle!” by the time Jared managed to get Jensen belly-up and had his teeth clamped around his throat, he growing a low, continuous note.

Jensen whimpered, but Jared increased the pressure of his jaws a fraction, enough of a warning. Natural wolves had jaws so delicate they could carry an egg without breaking it, but tough enough to crack bone - a Wolf, being larger, had even more power. Even though Jensen knew that Jared would never kill him, never seriously hurt him, that fact was at the forefront of his mind when he finally submitted, tossing his head back so that he was completely vulnerable to whatever Jared chose to do.

Jared grunted and let off of Jensen, watching as Jensen got to his feet. Even though his human mind was pissed at Jared for embarrassing him, the Wolf in him crept over to Jared and licked his jaw in apology, an unintentional mirror of the act that got him into so much trouble in the first place.

Snorting, Jared turned and once more headed for the trees, not even glancing back because he knew this time that Jensen was following.

-----------------------------------

It was still dark when they returned to the camp site. Jensen whined, he still had energy to burn, and wanted to keep running. But Jared ignored his whimpering and nosed him over to his tent. Jensen learned his lesson earlier: when it comes to being in their fur, Jensen was the low man on the totem pole. However, once he reached his tent and slid inside the opening, Jared was right behind him and sliding through.

Jared was once more already shifting back by the time Jensen got his wits together, and when he opened his eyes as a human there was Jared sitting across from him, hunched over in the low ceiling of the tent and naked as the day he was born.

Jensen felt the rush of blood to his dick just from looking at Jared, and he grabbed one of the pairs of discarded shorts to try to cover himself up with. A broad hand stopped his in mid grab though, and Jensen looked up to see Jared watching him, his eyes dark with lust.

Jensen gasped and let go of the shorts, and a glance at Jared’s lap told him he was in very much the same state as Jensen was, his cock red and full, and when it twitched Jensen felt his mouth water. The horniness that night wasn’t as “Oh-my-Gawd-Just-Let-Me-Come-Now” like it was the night previous, but it was real damn close, and that sight wasn’t helping.

“I’m going to ask this just once, Jensen,” Jared said, his voice a low, husky note that Jensen had never heard from him before. “Do you want to do this? If you do, you’ll be mine: You wont join any other Howlings, and every Therian with half a nose will know what we did, and who you are to me.”

“Yeah,” Jensen croaked out. “Yeah, of course I want this, Jared.” The way Jared was talking, it sounded almost like they were going to be exclusive, which… Jensen really didn’t mind at all. Explaining him to his parents might be weird, but he had other issues with them to work out, adding one more wouldn’t make the least difference.

“I don’t bottom,” Jared said, moving closer on his knees and cupping Jensen’s face with his hand, his thumb caressing the bottom lip. “And I’ve been told I can be a little pushy.”

“Fine with me,” Jensen said, giving Jared’s thumb a little nip and grinning at the gasp of shocked breath Jared let out at that.

“Good,” Jared said, moving closer until they were breathing each other’s air. “Good.” With that, Jared slid his hand to the back of Jensen’s head and kissed him.

Unlike their earlier kiss, this wasn’t a rushed thing, barely really considered a ‘kiss’ due to changing mouths and tongues. It was a real kiss, soft and unsure at first, learning the shape of each other’s mouths. When Jensen tilted his head, though, Jared sighed and coaxed Jensen’s mouth open wider, and their tongues came into play, darting into and out of each other’s mouths like fishes, taking moments to rub and caress each other every now and again.

Whether Jared pushed Jensen down or Jensen lay back on his own neither could say, but the next thing Jensen knew his legs were spread, Jared a warm solid presence in between them, and Jared was nipping along his jaw and chin. Jensen gasped when Jared bit down right at the jugular vein, sucking on the skin and leaving a hickey, marking him with the shape of his mouth and teeth a signature: “This Is Mine.”

Jensen’s hips surged up at the thought, pressing his hard-on against Jared’s own and making them both groan. Jared sealed their mouths together and reached down, grabbing both erections in his big hand and jacking them both slowly together.

“Shhhhit,” Jensen hissed, shuddering. He ducked his head, nosing Jared’s chin up so he could get at the long tanned column of his neck. He didn’t bite, that was for Jared only, but he licked and kissed and suckled at the skin, leaving his own tiny marks that had Jared closing his eyes and panting.

Jared twisted his head to the side, unattaching Jensen’s mouth from his neck and fitted his mouth over Jensen’s own once more. He began to move his hips, slow, undulating thrusts that pressed them together even as he kept slowly jerking them both.

Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared’s body, his palms flat against his back, sliding in the sweat that was beginning to bead up on his skin. When Jared squeeze just *so* Jensen hissed, and ran his fingers down the line of Jared’s back, nails digging into skin.

Jared shuddered and ripped his mouth away from Jensen’s, resting his forehead on Jensen’s shoulder for a moment.

“You like that?” Jensen said, unintentionally softly but intentionally teasing. He did it again, from nape of his next to just above the curve of his ass, digging his nails in deep.

Jared groaned and nodded, nipping a bit of neck that was apparently too close to resist.

“Please Jensen,” he panted. “Please, can I fuck you? Please Jensen, please, God, please…”

It was at the tip of his tongue to quip, “I’m not that kind of girl,” but Jared sounded so wreaked, so needy. He nodded, “Yeah, Jared. Do it, fuck me.”

“Oh God,” Jared whimpered. “Please tell me you got something for lube.”

Jensen thought for a moment; he really didn’t plan on doing anything like *this* these past couple days, so he didn’t exactly bring any supplies. Then he remembered one time he and Danneel got a little adventurous while taking a shower one day and nodded. “Got some conditioner in my bag,” he said. “That should work.”

Jared gave Jensen a peck on the cheek and let go of their dicks (both of them swallowed a groan at the disappearing pressure and warmth) to grab Jensen’s duffle and pull it over. He rifled through it for a moment until he could find the white bottle, and as soon as he had set it out he pushed the bag to the side.

Jared looked over at Jensen and grinned. “And now for the fun part,” he said. The tent was small and cramped with the two of them in there, but Jared managed to scooch down until Jensen’s dick was looking Jared right in the face, lowered his head, and gave his cock a long, loving lick.

“Oh, *Jesus*,” Jensen yelped. It’d been way too long since he’d last had sex, just that one lick hit him so hard. Jared kept sucking Jensen’s cock, and Jensen was so preoccupied staring up at the top of the tent and feeling those delicious sensations that he wasn’t aware that Jared had popped the cap open on the conditioner and had coated his fingers in the stuff until he was circling the entrance to Jensen’s body with one cool, slick fingertip. “God,” he moaned. His ass was going to smell like “Fresh Mountain Strawberries.”

Jared pulled off Jensen’s dick to soothe, “Relax, Jen,” before he wrapped his lips around the head of Jensen’s cock and *sucked*.

Apparently, that was enough to get Jensen relaxed enough that Jared managed to get his whole finger up his ass. Jensen squirmed, caught between the oh-so-good feeling in his dick and the uncomfortably intrusive pressure in his ass. Jared rubbed Jensen’s hip with his free hand, apparently picking up on his nervousness. Jensen still didn’t know what the big deal was about anal sex from this, *ahem* end. For as long as men have been having sex with each other, there had to be something about it that made them want to keep on doing it, right?

Two fingers in, and Jensen felt full and uncomfortable. Jared was doing an awesome job on his dick, good enough to keep him hard, but Jensen was far away from the edge he was courting ever since Jared first put his mouth on Jensen’s dick.

Three fingers and Jensen really wanted Jared to go back to that jacking-them-both-together thing. That was pretty awesome, and Jensen decided that he just wasn’t cut out for anal sex. No insult to anyone who did it, but he just wasn’t interested.

Jared gave the cock in his mouth one last long suck before he crawled up Jensen’s body, giving him a kiss that let Jensen taste himself on his lips. “You ready?” Jared asked.

Jensen nodded, not sure he could ever be ready.

Grinning, Jared gave Jensen’s jaw a little nip and reached down to slather more conditioner on his own cock. He turned Jensen over and raised his hips until he was on all fours, lined his dick up, and *pushed.*

Jensen dropped his head and hissed, Jared was a big guy, a lot bigger than a couple fingers, and even with Jared’s Sasquatch hands he still couldn’t reach as deep as his dick could go. Jared shushed him, kissing and nipping his neck and jaw, murmuring “I knows” and “Relaxes” and the like. Jensen really wanted to ask how Jared could relax with a baseball bat shoved up his ass, but he couldn’t get the breath to do so.

Finally Jared bottomed out, and he nearly collapsed on top of Jensen. He was giving continual little shudders, his shoulders and hips tensing like he wanted to thrust, but didn’t quite dare yet. “Oh god,” he moaned. “You’re tight.”

Jensen nodded. Yeah, he could tell. Even so, he could feel himself adjusting around Jared’s girth, his body getting used to having something foreign in it. It still burned, but when it got to a place that Jensen thought was as good as it was going to get, he nudged Jared’s shoulder. “Alright,” he ground out. “Move.”

Jared nodded and started a slow, rolling thrust. If Jensen thought that first being penetrated was weird, Jared thrusting was weirder. He didn’t say anything though, but judging by the look on Jared’s face, it felt good enough that Jensen could almost see himself doing it again for him. Almost.

After a little while of this, Jensen Jr. was really feeling unsure about events, and when Jared reached around to fondle it, Jensen wanted to wince. Jared paused, told Jensen to ‘hold on, he’ll find it,” and started changing the angle of his thrusts. Jensen had no idea what the hell Jared was supposed to find until he *found it.*

One moment Jensen was considering the surprisingly boring sex with Jared, and the other it felt like he was getting electrified from the base of his spine out. He yelped, grabbing the sleeping bag under him and holding on *tight.*

By the time he recovered from that first sparking sensation, he looked over his shoulder to see Jared had paused, smiling down at him like the cat who’d got the canary.

“Found it,” he said. Then he started to move, and kept on ‘finding’ it.

Jensen finally knew why so many men over the years had sex this way, and he vowed to rediscover this fact as often as possible in the future.

He sort of rocked back and forth with the thrusts, letting Jared hit that sweet spot inside him over and over, and could feel his orgasm building in him once again. Jared was full of surprises though, because just when he felt himself approaching that precipice, he felt himself flipped and turned. Before he knew it, Jared was laying on his back, Jensen propped over him. Jared managed to move both of them without ever falling out of Jensen, and Jensen was slightly impressed with the feat.

“Like this,” Jared said, physically lifting Jensen up and down on his cock, forearms bulging with veins. “I want to see you come. Not to mention,” he added with a breathless laugh, “I can’t do all the work.” With that, he let Jensen down and just clutched his hips.

Jensen groaned, he was close, and Jared was being a mean son of a bitch (literally) by stopping everything. He leaned forward, bracing his hands on Jared’s shoulders and knelt up, Jared’s cock sliding nearly completely out before he fell back, gasping when he felt himself getting impaled once more. “God,” he said again.

“Yeah, baby,” Jared gasped, his eyes narrow slits in the darkness of the tent. “Just like that. Keep going.”

Jensen did, and eventually even Jared couldn’t stand the slow pace any more and grabbed Jensen’s hips hard enough to bruise, slamming his hips up and forcing Jensen down into his lap. Jensen finally came, shooting all over Jared’s smooth chest and belly in hard pumps. Jared groaned and flipped them once more, and all Jensen could do was hold on for the ride as Jared pounded his ass before freezing, shuddering as he came deep inside Jensen.

They lay there together, wrapped up, for a long time, breathing each other’s air and giving each other tiny kisses as they tried to get their breath. Eventually Jared pulled out, Jensen wincing at the squelch and the gaping, empty feeling left behind.

Even though they were both still over warm and covered in sweat and other things, they both sort of slowly drifted to sleep.

---------------------------------

The next morning, Jensen woke up first. He watched Jared long enough for Jared to open his own eyes and watch him back. Then they fucked again.

Eventually they came out of the tent to get some food and shower, knowing as they did so that every Wolf in the site knew what they were doing. Jensen was sore and walking a little funny, but he praised Therian healing for the fact that he could even move, so he wasn’t going to complain.

Then they went back to the tent and Jensen learned how to give a blow job.

He did have to spill the beans about not having any prior experience with guys, which pissed Jared off because he felt he should have gone slower Jensen’s first time.

Jensen got pissed back because, last he checked, he wasn’t a chick and needed to be romanced before she’d take her top off, and then they had angry sex.

That night they took a break to shift and run, Jensen finding a rabbit that night and chased it until it disappeared into a burrow.

When they woke up the next morning and crawled out of bed, though, they heard news that shook Jensen up badly.

-----------------------------

There had been another Therian attack. Multiple attacks, actually, and all in the same night. Another young man and his wife, and a mother and two kids were all attacked in their sleep by a Therian that had somehow snuck unto their homes. Judging by the tooth marks and how close the two families were, all evidence pointed to the same Wolf, and very likely the very same Wolf that attacked Jensen. And, like Jensen, they were all close family to members of public office: the couple the mayor’s daughter and son-in-law, and the mother and kids the ex-wife of the chief of police.

While others were packing up the site, Jensen, Jared, Misha, Jeff, and a few others were crowded around a radio someone had brought out, listening to the news cast. Just Jensen getting bit was big news, but it was obvious that whatever Wolf was doing this was specifically targeting certain people.

“It’s a new Scourge,” Jensen said. All eyes were suddenly on him, and even though he blushed a bit at being the center of attention, he continued. “Except instead of biting everyone they come across, they’re attacking the people in charge. If someone has a kid or wife who’s a Therian, they’re not going to allow a bill to pass keeping them from getting into certain colleges or something.”

“Makes sense,” Jeff sighed. “From a twisted point of view. But it'd never work in real life, all it’s going to do is make them pissed instead of lenient.”

“I don’t know,” a guy said, one Jensen hadn’t talked to before. He was looking at Jensen with narrowed eyes as he continued. “Has it worked, Ackles? Aren’t you going to tell daddy to take back some of his laws so you can go back living the high life?”

“Enough, Chad,” Jared growled.

“Fuck that,” the guy, Chad snorted. “Do you really think this guy would be giving you the time of day if he wasn’t getting furry every month? He’d be a high-and-mighty human, and you a dog not fit for licking the shit off his shoes.”

“Enough,” Jeff snapped, and this time Chad listened, stalking off with a disgusted snort.

“Don’t pay attention to Chad, Jen,” Jared said, slinging an arm over Jensen’s shoulder and rubbing the back of his neck. “He’s a good guy, he can just be an ass sometime,”

Jensen felt a little sick because there was a note of truth in Chad’s accusation. Even so, “Jared, you’re such an awesome guy, that even if I met you while I was still human I’d still fall in love with you.” As soon as the words came out he wanted to slap a hand over his mouth. Too early in the relationship to be admitting to love, he scolded himself.

Instead of looking uncomfortable, Jared gave him a small smile. “Alright,” he said softly. Then he cleared his throat and said louder, “Anyway, if I thought that you were an asshole, I wouldn’t be having Wolves running around trying to find the one that bit you?”

Shocked, Jensen said, “You did what?”

Misha put his hand on Jared’s shoulder, said lowly that he’d ‘get something,’ and headed off to his car.

Jeff turned to Jensen and said, “It’s dangerous having a Therian out there randomly attacking people.” He sighed and amended, “*Apparently* randomly attacking people. We were able to get something with the Wolf’s scent on it, and have been trying to track it down.”

“We haven’t had much luck,” Jared said, shaking his head. “If he lives in the city, we haven’t been able to track him down, and we don’t have the time or people to start looking around the suburbs.”

Misha returned with what looked like a couple scraps of cloth in a zip lock bag, and as soon as Jensen got a good look he exclaimed, “Hey, that’s my shirt! I thought the cops had it.”

Misha shrugged. “We left some for the cops, but we know enough about them to know they wouldn’t look too deeply into a Therian attack.”

“Oh,” Jensen said, taking the bag from Misha and opening it. The scents had faded over the month since the attack, even though it’d been sealed. The first smell that hit him was the smell of his own blood, thick and coppery in his nose. He took a deep breath, trying to focus past the smell of blood to the other, more subtler scents. The sharp scent of his own panic and fear-sweat, and then, below that, the Wolf.

He paused, concentrating on that last one. It was familiar, but it was that undercurrent of sickness that clinched it.

“I’ve smelled this Wolf before,” Jensen said.

Everyone started talking at once, but Jensen had turned and was running full tilt towards the trees, shedding clothing and shifting as he went. He landed on all fours running, and could hear the others behind him, shouting at him to wait or slow down. Jensen ignored them, trying to find that scent once more. He could dimly remember where he’d saw that dark Wolf his first night in his fur and headed there, pausing every now and then to try and find the trail.

Finally he stopped, that sickly scent leaving a mark across a tree that it’d rubbed up against.

He growled low. Even though he wasn’t altogether upset about the changes in this life, this Wolf turned everything he knew in his life on it’s ear. He lost his girlfriend, his job, and his father wanted to *retrain* him. He deserved a little revenge.

Growling low, he took off again, and he could hear the padding footfalls of a group of Wolves close behind him. Jared said that Wolves don’t form packs, but he knew they’d back him up once he cornered the rogue.

He traced the scent trail for a long time, but he didn’t tire nearly as easily as he would as a human. His long legs ate up ground as he arrowed in on the Wolf’s position. Soon the smell of the rogue was everywhere, and he knew he’d entered it’s territory. It was in a patch of forest close enough to the city that he could make it if he ran flat-out for an hour or so, but far enough that he could see how Misha and the others could miss the scent.

He burst into a small clearing, just big enough for the dilapidated cottage. Jensen slowed to a trot, eyeing the house for an open door or window. He could always have shifted to human, but he wanted to confront him as a Wolf, as what he made him into. The back door was open a crack. Bingo. At that moment four wolves exploded into the clearing, and Jensen looked them over. The biggest was Jared, fur as dark as his hair in the sunlight. Another big one, Jeff, was in the lead, muzzle grey with age, but still strong and tough with the wisdom of experience. Misha and Sandy were behind him. Right at that moment he realized how the other Wolves seemed to defer to Jared, to show him respect. Jared wasn’t Alpha, but he wasn’t far.

They looked at each other and the cabin, and as one they made a decision.

They’d deal with him like Wolves.

~The End

The Righteous Man Regardeth (Part 2)

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:39:14 GMT

Jensen wandered out of his room some time after ten the next morning, the heel of his hand pressed against one eye under his glasses to try and soothe the jack hammering pounding in his skull. He staggered towards the kitchen, but paused when he caught sight of Jared on his couch, playing his Xbox on low volume. Torn between apologizing for acting like a nitwit the night before and the siren song in the form of coffee wafting from his kitchen, he eventually decided that getting caffeine into his system was more important.

The pot in the kitchen was half full, and cool enough that it was obvious that Jared had been up for a while. The bright side was that it was cool enough that Jensen was able to pour himself a cup and slam it without burning his mouth. He did that, drinking it black and bitter, and then poured himself another cup, but added a little creamer before taking the cup into the den. The last little bit in the pot he dumped and started another pot going, using pre-ground beans rather than suffer the scream of the grinder as he ground his own.

He collapsed on the couch next to Jared and watched him try to stealthily assassinate his character’s next target. He was doing mostly okay, Jensen decided. Except whenever he got close, instead of continuing going slowly and hugging the wall, he’d rush the target and get spotted and fail the mission.

Jensen tried to find a happy medium between nursing his coffee and drinking it before it got too cold, and was so absorbed in both watching Jared and his coffee that he jumped a little when Jared finally broke the silence.

“So what was last night all about?”

With those few words, everything Jensen was trying to forget rushed back and the twisting ball of guilt of self-hatred clenched in his belly. With a sigh he set his coffee down on the table, not sure if his guts would accept even that little bit without rebelling.

“Danneel broke up with me,” he said, looking between his spread knees to the carpet below.

“We established that.”

Jensen felt a brief surge of anger. “That’s not good enough? After a couple years which we were happy, really fucking happy, she breaks up with me and I’m not allowed to get upset?”

Jared snorted, “Fuck yeah, you’re allowed to get upset. But I know you, and you’re not the kind of guy who goes on a bender on cheap booze like an idiot because your girl dumped you.”

Jensen eyed Jared for a moment, who was still seemingly engrossed in his game. “I thought you were supposed to be like a therapist, aren’t you not supposed to call me an idiot?”

Jared grinned, eyes still on the TV. “When I have to drive out here to take care of your drunken ass, we lose the professional distance.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” Jensen shrugged.

“Jensen.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re changing the subject.”

With a sigh, Jensen let his head fall against the back of the couch, an unintentional reflection of last night. The movement made him wince as a lance of pain stabbed through his temple, but he kept the position. Anything to keep himself from looking Jared in the face.

“I attacked Danneel,” he said.

The sound coming from the TV abruptly changed to the familiar ‘pause screen’ tune, and Jared turned so that he was facing Jensen, one arm thrown against the back of the couch. “Alright,” he said. “What are you talking about?”

Jensen gulped, swallowing air. “She came over yesterday,” he explained. “And before I could explain anything about the whole… Therian thing, we were kissing. And I could *smell* her, you know? Better than I was able to ever before. And she just smelled so *good*. So I kept sniffing her, and, and licking her. And even when she told me to stop I didn’t, because I… I don’t know. I missed her, or something. I didn’t want her to leave, and I think some part of me thought that if I made her a werewolf, like me, we’d stay together.”

“Did you…?” Jared trailed off, his voice soft.

Jensen shook his head, his face hot from the blush he knew must be across his face. He wasn’t friends with a whole lot of people, and he didn’t want to lose Jared’s friendship. He could just imagine what Jared might be thinking about him.

“No,” he said. “She stopped me before anything went too far. But she shouldn’t have *needed* to stop me, Jared!” he sat forward, hands in his hair. “I just went crazy on her for no reason. It’s no fucking surprise that she dumped me. I would, if I were in her shoes.”

He was crying again, but this time instead of trying to hold them back or hide them he just let them fall. He almost jumped again when he felt a warm hand rub along the top of his shoulders, comforting. That just sent him further over the edge, sobbing with full-bodied shudders.

They both sat in uncomfortable silence for a long while, Jensen crying and Jared being quietly supportive. Jensen’s tears finally dried up, but he felt shaky and a little ill and dehydrated. He considered taking a drink of his now-cold coffee, but even the thought made his stomach lurch uncomfortably.

“Wolf Therians don’t really form packs,” Jared said, and Jensen glanced at him with an eyebrow raised at the non-sequitor. “Packs involve a sort of full-time involvement on part of the individual. Lone wolves rarely survive very long. However, Wolves are still really social. We don’t do well without an extended social circle, and at the Full Moon there are groups who get together to run and play and sometimes hunt. We call them ‘Howlings.’ When we don‘t have that network of friends and family, we want to *make* one, no matter what.”

“What does this have to do with what happened?” Jensen asked, his voice watery still from tears.

“You’re lonely, Jensen,” Jared explained, giving Jensen’s shoulder a rub. “Which is why I’m going to invite you to my Howling for your first shifting.”

Jensen looked at Jared, stunned. “You’re what? Don’t you need permission or anything for something like that?”

Jared shook his head and started to smile, that bright grin that made Jensen want to smile in reply. “Not me, I’ve got status. Anyway, what do you say? You’ll be around others who’ve been shifting for years, some of them were born fully human, like you. It’s a friendly place, and in the days between it’s basically like camping; barbecue, swimming, hiking, all that fun stuff. And we’re far enough away from the city we don’t have to worry about cars hitting us when we try to cross the street or something.” He reached up to ruffle Jensen’s hair. “Don’t want you turning into road kill your first night out.”

Jensen huffed out a laugh and shook Jared’s hand off his head. “Wouldn’t want that,” he said.

Turning and grabbing the controller that he’d set on Jensen’s coffee table, Jared said, “I’ll get a hold of you before the Full Moon and tell you what to bring. Don’t worry, it wont be much.”

Jensen nodded and watched as Jared went back to his game. This time their silence was more comfortable, even though Jensen was thinking hard.

Loneliness was why he acted so strangely around Danneel? He just wanted someone close to him? It seemed like such a major reaction to something so basic. Going crazy in a desire for companionship, for someone who wouldn’t leave for months at a time.

He winced at his thoughts. That wasn’t fair to Danneel. He knew what it’s like to be driven for your job, and she was getting better and better roles all the time; he knew it was only a matter of time until he got a lead in a good TV show or started on a legitimate movie career, doing summer blockbusters or something. The fault was all his own: he’d had moments of heartache, where he laid in bed late at night and wondered if she was alone in her hotel room or if she was wrapped in the warm arms of someone else, far enough away that he’d never know. When he’d hate her so much for leaving him behind for so long. When every time he’d suggest getting out and going on a vacation for a week or so and she’d shake her head or sigh into her phone and say sorry, but her agent has her lined up to try out for a part in a couple days, but maybe some other time?

Stupid and possessive, he scolded himself. She had the right to live her life her own way, and keeping her at his side when she’s got all these choices before her is so, *so* wrong. He’s not a chauvinist; one of the things he loved about Danneel was that she had her own mind, insisted on not letting Jensen baby her or treat her with kid gloves.

But if this Wolf thing was making him treat people like *that* when he was just lonely, then perhaps the best thing for them was to break up anyway. She stopped him last time, but what about the next time, or the time after that?

“Can you show me?” Jensen asked, surprising himself with suddenly breaking the silence between the two of them.

Jared grunted, turning the controller like it’d help his character move any better. “Show you what?”

“What it looks like when you transform into a Wolf,” Jensen said.

Jared’s hands froze on the controller and there was a tinny scream from the set as his character was killed gruesomely. He ducked his head and chuckled, a quiet sound for a guy normally taken to throwing his head back and baying. “Already?” He said. “The past couple didn’t want to see it until there was less than a week until their first Full Moon.”

“I want to see it,” Jensen said, with an intensity that surprised him. “I want to know what’s going to happen to me, and all I got is Hollywood shockers and a video my dad shown me as a kid.”

Jared winced. “First, Hollywood is Hollywood, and would sensationalize a kindergarten graduation if they could. And second, if you’re talking about the kind of videos *I’ve* seen which shows guys screaming and frothing at the mouth and twitching like an epileptic as they shift, then I don’t blame you for being nervous. What they don’t tell you in those videos is that those guys are affected by silver poisoning, which messes with us when we shift.”

Jensen was aghast at the thought, “They wouldn’t do that, would they? Poison someone just for a film?”

Jared shook his head. “Not just for a film, no. But back in the 70’s, which is when most of these propaganda films were made, some geniuses thought that by steadily introducing silver into the blood stream they’d be able to cure them.”

“Oh,” Jensen said, uncomfortable. Then, “When can you show me? Does it have to be close to the Full Moon or something?”

“Nope. After your first shift you can do it at will. Are you sure you want to see it, though?”

“Yeah. Please.”

Jared nodded, and stood. He moved to the side, where there was a small open space, and Jensen leaned back to watch him. He sat up real damn quick when Jared started stripping though, tugging off his button-up and slicking his T-shirt over his head.

“Whoa, wait, what are you doing?” Jensen said.

Jared tossed his shirts to the side and said, even while unbuckling his belt, “You can’t expect me to turn into a big, four-legged beast while I’m still clothed?” he asked, glancing up with a small smirk.

Jensen felt his face flush and he scratched the back of his neck, trying not to look too close (though he did noticed with an envious sort of admiration the swell of his pecs and the flat plain of his belly) as Jared slid his jeans off, along with his underwear.

‘There’s a seven foot tall naked werewolf standing in my living room,’ he thought, somewhat wildly.

“Jensen,” Jared said, and Jensen fought his embarrassment enough to look Jared in the face. “Watch.”

Jared closed his eyes in concentration, and immediately Jensen could sense a change in the air, a sudden intensity, like the feeling right before a thunderstorm. Deep in his heart he knew that before when he was completely human he would have never have sensed it.

There was a muffled cracking, groaning sound that confused Jensen for a second, and it wasn’t until he could see a shifting beneath Jared’s skin that he could see that it was coming from him. Jensen watched with a feeling akin or horror as Jared’s face suddenly seemed to bulge out and his jaw dropped, giving Jensen a glimpse of those startlingly white teeth sharpening and shifting to fit his new jaw. He hunched forward, and his spine seemed to twist and then extend into a ropey naked tail. His fingers shortened and nails lengthened and curved, forming paws even as his instep lengthened until he was standing on tip-toes, which was when he fell forward in a surprisingly graceful move for what looked like a half-formed beast. Finally the fur came, dark and thick and covering him in a wave.

The beast Jared had become opened his still-hazel eyes, opened it’s jaw, and smiled a doggy smile. He was *huge* which was not exactly a surprise considering Jared is a big man, with thick mottled dark fur and long legs that seemed slightly longer than was normal for a wolf. He didn’t think that Jared was a timber wolf or any other specific breed, but something very different but still obviously 'wolf.' He remembered the envelope with information about Therianthropy, and it said something along the lines that Wolves more closely resembled the extinct dire wolves in anatomy than any modern wolf, and as Jared stood there he could sense the primitive beast under that still-hazel gaze.

When Jared started wagging his tail though (even if it wasn’t like a dog’s tail wag; when he did it the tail stayed mostly limp but it still got the point across) Jensen had to restrain the urge to look through his refrigerator for a hot dog or something as a treat.

“That looked like it hurt,” Jensen said, feeling slightly foolish for talking to what looked like for all the world a wild animal.

Jared yawned his opinion about that and padded over, stepped up on the couch and curled up next to Jensen, head in his lap and looking up at him with big soulful eyes. Jensen couldn’t help himself but to scratch Jared behind his ears, fingers digging into that thick fur. Jared closed his eyes and sighed in bliss, nuzzling at Jensen’s hand whenever he stopped like a dog begging for attention.

They stayed like that for a while, eventually Jared falling asleep on Jensen’s lap and snoring wolfish snores that made Jensen grin despite himself. He could hear the pot in the kitchen finish percolating and, while part of him really really wanted to get in there and pour himself a fresh cup, another took comfort in Jared’s warm weight on his leg and didn’t want to disturb it.

All good things must come to an end, he knew, and besides; Jared had some information that Jensen needed and couldn’t necessarily tell him in Wolf form.

Jensen poked Jared in the side a couple times until Jared grunted and pried his eyes open, looking up at Jensen with an expression that told him very clearly that he’s an awful, awful person for waking him and should be ashamed. Jensen wasn’t bothered: He’d lived with cats.

“I think I remember you saying something about a job for me,” Jensen said. “I need info, man, and you can’t tell me if you don’t have lips.”

Jared sighed heavily and oozed off the couch, stretching when he was half off in a way that made Jensen chuckle, and trotted over to where he’d thrown his clothes. As he walked Jensen could see another shifting under his skin and muscle and bone started reshaping itself, and the fur looked like it was getting sucked into his body. All in all it was a very neat, though creepy-looking process.

Once Jared was more human than Wolf Jensen looked away, fiddling with the discarded Xbox controller while he heard Jared making getting dressed noises off to the side. When Jared sat back next to him Jensen handed the controller over, but instead of picking up where he left off on the game he just turned the console off and set the controller back down.

“I got a friend who does the hiring at a warehouse that supplies local grocery stores,” Jared said, picking up their conversation like he wasn’t just a Wolf a few minutes ago. Jensen had a feeling he was used to doing that. “She’s looking for someone to work evenings. It’s not going to pay a whole lot, but it’ll help out until you get something better under your feet.”

“Does she know about the whole Therian thing?” Jensen asked, remembering to use the correct term just in time.

Jared nodded. “Yeah, she’s got no problem with it. Plus, knowing her, she’ll let you know exactly her thoughts on the subject your first day in.” There was a hint of amusement in his voice that made Jensen wonder, but the fact that he had a job and a real paycheck was too much to turn down for no real reason.

Jared told him he could start the next night if he wanted, working the midnight shift.

Jensen wanted.

--------------------------

Jared was right about his new boss. Samantha was tough as they come, no-nonsense with a sharp sense of humor. She told Jensen straight out that she “didn’t give two damns if he turned furry every month, just keep his teeth to himself and not in any of the stock. Even though his pay was less than a third of what he got working at the restaurant and the hours sucked, but it paid the bills (barely) and kept him fed (more or less) so he wasn’t complaining while he continued looking for something better.

All in all things weren’t too bad until his face got splashed over the morning news.

--------------------------
He’d just gotten home from a long shift, had his shoes kicked off, and was laying on his couch debating whether or not he wanted to take a shower after he slept a few hours or if he had the energy and willpower to get a quick one before when his cell beeped and booped at him. Sighing inwardly as he didn’t feel up to dealing with anyone that day, he pried his cell out of it’s holster at his waist and looked at the display before he decided to answer it.

He woke up real damn quick when he saw that it was his dad calling.

Even though he could feel himself growing pale he flipped the phone open and pressed it to his ear.

“Hello?” he said, though his heart was in his throat.

“Jensen, hello,” his father replied, and Jensen gulped - when his father had that ‘oh, I am very calm, can't you tell’ tone to his voice, he knew he was pissed. “How are you?”

“Good,” Jensen creaked. He cleared his throat. He hated this small-talk. “Not bad, managing to get by. You?”

“Oh, I saw something on the news this morning that’s got me a little concerned. Maybe you should take a look.”

‘Oh shit,’ Jensen thought. He fumbled for the remote, almost dropping the phone while he was at it, but when he had it in his hand he couldn’t make himself turn the TV on right away. His hands were shaking but he could hear his dad breathe over the phone, so he took a deep breathed and pressed the power button. It was on some movie channel from the day before, so Jensen had to change it to the local news station, where he was immediately assaulted by the image of his and his father’s face on the screen next to the anchor woman with the words, “Senator’s Son A Werewolf” emblazoned at the bottom of the screen.

“Oh my god,” Jensen whimpered. That was not good. He continued watching as Dr. Cortese was accosted as she was obviously trying to get home by reporters who wanted her to confirm or deny rumors that one Jensen Ackles did indeed get bit by a werewolf, but she brushed them off with ‘no comments’ where she could and flat-out ignoring them when she couldn’t. Then the screen switched to an anchor who verified that it was a 'source from inside the hospital' who'd leaked the information, and they couldn't at that time release who it was.

“Can you see why I’m concerned, Jensen?” His dad said over the line.

Jensen swallowed, trying to wet his bone-dry mouth. “Y-yeah,” he said. “I can see why.”

“Is it true?” That faux-calm voice was sliding off like water off a ducks back, and Jensen felt all of five years old when he whispered, “Yeah.”

“What in the world were you *thinking* Jensen!” his dad said, snarling like a wolf himself. “How could you do this?”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen!” Jensen shouted defensively. “It was just a random attack, even the police couldn’t find anything. I was just walking home from work and ‘bam!’ Next thing I knew I had teeth in my shoulder and a doctor saying I‘m a Therian.”

“Therian,” his dad scoffed. “That sounds like what one of those fringe groups is wanting the media to call werewolves and their kind. They’ve always been weres, Jensen. Calling them a prettier name isn’t going to change what they are. And you should know better than to be walking around at night, I thought your mother and I taught you better than that.”

Jensen pressed his hand into his eyes, really wanting to take his contacts out so he wouldn’t have to see the clips of his father giving speeches denouncing werewolves and their kind. He kind of wanted to cry more.

“It wasn’t my fault,” he said, biting the words out.

“Well I hope your little midnight stroll was worth it, Jensen,” his father replied. “My career’s probably in the toilet because of this, and it’s going to take a while to try and fix this. If you cooperate we should be able to earn the voter's trust eventually.”

“Cooperate with what?” Jensen asked warily.

“There are programs out there for people like you,” he said. “Camps that will teach you how to deny the animal part of you and to be human, medications you can take, therapy. You’re usually a smart boy and you love God, so you should have no problem becoming just a regular human again. I have enough stocks in pharmaceutical companies that when they find a cure I can make sure you’re one of the first ones treated.” His voice softened, no longer full of The Wrath of Dad, but more soothing, concerned. “I can help make you better, Jensen.”

“Okay, Dad,” Jensen whispered. “Whatever you want.”

“Good boy,” his dad said, unthinkingly making Jensen feel like a dog. “I’ll call around, see about getting you into a program right away. We’re only a week away from the next full moon, so it’ll be difficult getting you all the help you need in time, but we’ll manage something.”

“Okay dad,” Jensen said.

“Goodbye, Jensen,” his dad said. Then he paused for a second. “You know I love you, son. Right?”

Jensen *really* felt like crying. Or throwing up. Something. “Yeah dad, I love you, too.”

“Right,” Alan said, uncomfortable. “Goodbye.”

“’Bye.”

There was a muffled click, and the phone went dead.

Jensen stared at it the phone in his hand for a long moment, thinking.

His dad did love him, he knew. He never felt like he and his siblings weren’t anything more than first in his parent’s eyes. Even his father’s crusade against Therians was an extension of that love - he loved his family enough to protect them from what he felt to be a real threat to their safety.

But did he want to go through the programs his dad suggested?

Jensen wanted to be human again as much as a starving man wanted steak. He didn’t even care that he never even been through a single Full Moon phase yet, so never got the full experience. Just remembering that so many of his rights that he took for granted no longer applied to him made him desire humanity so much.

Then he remembered Jared telling him that people used silver as a way to try and cure Therianism and shuddered. While there were always, “Breakthroughs on the Lycanthropy virus!” and “Steps closer to a cure!” Jensen was always of a mind that no one had any idea of how to cure it, and it’ll be long after he’s dead and gone that anyone will.

His phone beeped again in his hand and when Jensen glanced down at the display he saw Jared’s name pop up. He sighed, flipped it open, and brought it to his ear.

“Yeah?”

“Jensen, it’s Jared,” said the man himself, sounding slightly out of breath and panicked. “Jen, whatever you do, *don’t* turn on the TV. It got out that you got bit, so nearly all the news networks are eating this up. Just-”

“I know,” Jensen interrupted. “I’m watching it right now,”

Jared was shocked into silence. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” They were both quiet, just the sound of Jared breathing down the phone while Jensen watched with an abstract sort of dismay while a pundit gave a run down of his father’s political career, focusing mainly on his stance against Therians. “Listen Jared, can I call you back? I just got off work and I’m exhausted.”

“Yeah, sure,” Jared said, even though he sounded a bit insecure. “Are you alright? I mean, I can always come over…?”

“Nah, I’m good,” Jensen lied. “I’m just going to get some sleep, in a couple days the only people that’s going to remember this is politicians who want something against my dad and the people who make funny captions on pictures on the internet.”

“They shouldn’t have to use you against your dad,” Jared said, his voice low and serious that somehow hit Jensen deep in his belly. “You shouldn’t have to *be* a weapon just because of what you are. You’re a person, Jen, and people should judge you on what you do, not what you are.”

Jensen didn’t have the heart to tell Jared that just wasn’t the way the world worked: People would always judge another person just on what they are, the little things that they can’t change. So instead of responding, he said, “I’ll talk to you later, Jared.”

“Later, Jen.”

Even as tired as he was, Jensen didn’t get much sleep that day.

---------------------------

Jensen avoided his father’s calls for the next few days, ignoring the phone whenever his or, once, his mother’s name was on the display screen. He’d decided that instead of immediately going through any treatments or camps, he’d experience one Full Moon cycle, and afterwards if it was as traumatizing as he’d been told, he’d do what his dad wanted. Jared didn’t seem very traumatized, he mused. But then again, some people get off on really weird things and seemed otherwise normal. Looking at Jared, you’d never guess he was addicted to gummy bears, and usually had a bag stashed nearby for that quick fix.

He was only glad that none of his coworkers recognized him at work, and no reporters or anything tracked him down. They were able to corner Frank, his old boss pretty quickly, but he’d no idea where Jensen went afterwards.

Not so much for his own home.

He had been driving home when he turned the corner and noticed a couple news vans outside his house. He’d panicked and turned around, driving for several minutes before pulling over to hyperventilate for a little while. When he got his breathing under control he was able to call up Jared and freak out to him that he couldn’t go home, or the paparazzi would *eat him alive*.

Jared calmed him down and soothingly said that Jensen’s an idiot and if he needed to crash for a couple days he’s perfectly welcome to.

That was how Jensen started living in Jared’s guest bedroom. He’d bought a couple changes of clothes and some toiletries from the store down the street, and settled in.

Two days after that was the night of the full moon.

----------------------------

The day before Jensen's first full moon he got a call on his cell not long after lunch. Jared was in his room writing for his magazine, so no one was around to see his minor freak out when he saw Danneel's name on the display.

His brain sort of disconnected while he stared at the screen, and it wasn't until it finally penetrated his brain that *Danneel wanted to talk to him* that, mostly on instinct, he flipped the phone open and raised it to his ear.

"Hello," he said, but it wasn't until his second try that the world came out as something other than a puff of air.

"Hey Jensen," Danneel said on the other side. Jensen closed his eyes. God, she sounded so... normal. "It's me."

"Yeah," Jensen said quietly. He glanced at the closed door of Jared's office and stood, heading out to the back yard where he could talk without Jared's suspiciously sharp ears listening in.

Neither he nor Danneel said anything, and his stomach twisted with the realization that it was the first long uncomfortable silence they'd had since when they'd first started dating.

Slightly desperate to hear something other than the faint sounds of her breaths over the speaker, he said, "So..." He trailed off, unable to think of anything else to say.

He heard Danneel sigh, and say, "I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have called, but I just thought we needed some closure."

Jensen gulped dust. "Closure?"

"Jensen baby," Danneel said, and God, but he hated that tone of voice. "I don't think we can continue being together. Not after what happened back then."

Jensen started to nod, caught himself, and rasped out, "Yeah." He paused for a moment, then said softly, "I'm sorry,"

He heard a sigh and Danneel said, "Jen, it's not your fault. I shouldn't have ran off like I did. It was just... I know you, Jensen. You don't want anything to do with werewolves, and all of a sudden you've changed. I love you, but I can't be with you anymore. I mean, what would you have done in my shoes?"

'About the same,' Jensen thought. Then he thought of Jared, and felt like a tool.

-------------------------

Samantha had given him the previous night off, so Jensen was able to have a mostly-human sleep schedule. He still woke around noon that day, and as soon as he work up he felt…. Odd.

He was reminded of that charged feeling in the air right before Jared shifted in his living room. But instead of feeling it in a distant sort of way, he felt that almost electrical current running under his very skin. Like if they stuck a wire to him he’d be able to power up a whole neighborhood all on his own. Even as he sat up and swung his legs off the bed it seemed like just moving felt weird, like his body wanted to run and jump around like a five year old in one of those inflatable bounce houses. He took a quick shower and brushed his teeth and, remembering Jared’s warning, chose to put on his glasses that day instead of his contacts. Apparently there had been ‘issues’ with Therians shifting with contacts in that haven’t ended well.

When he was finally dressed and ready he found Jared in the kitchen, packing some food in a big portable cooler. There was also an unopened twelve-pack on the counter. Most of the supplies they needed for the three nights were already packed and in Jared’s truck; a single-person tent for the two of them, sleeping bags, changes of clothing, stuff like that. Jensen was sort of reminded of camping trips with his family, only instead of roasting hot dogs at night and swatting mosquitoes, he’d be a Wolf and doing… whatever Wolves do at night. He never quite sussed it out of Jared other than “Running” and “Occasionally hunting. Nothing bigger than rabbits though.”

Call Jensen stupid, but that didn’t seem like enough to make everything Therians have to put up with all that worthwhile.

“Mornin’, Jen,” Jared greeted. In the past Jensen would have grunted something at him until he had a pot or two of coffee in him, but he was instantly awake that day.

“Morning, Jare,” he said, reaching past Jared to grab a banana off the counter. He turned aside to peel it and throw the peel in the trash, and when he turned around Jared was watching him. Something about his gaze made Jensen’s skin flush. “What?” he said, somewhat defensively.

“You can feel it, can’t you?” Jared asked, a note of excitement in his voice. “You feel hyped up, like you’ve been mainlining sugar all day, right?”

Jensen nodded. “Yeah. What the hell is that?”

Jared shrugged and closed the top of the cooler. “Can’t say for sure,” he said. “Some people put it more poetically than I ever could, but it’s your body preparing for the change tonight. It’s all that extra energy building for the main event.”

“As soon as the sun goes down?” Jensen confirmed.

“As soon as the sun goes down. Now come on, we don’t want to be late.” With that, Jared motioned Jensen towards the door and they headed to his truck.

They were about half an hour out with a little over an hour to go when Jared said, “Alright, a couple things you need to know before we get there. First of all, I’ve got to introduce you do Jeff. He’s alpha, so you have to be vetted by him first before he will let you into the Howling. You should be fine, it’s mostly just tradition that no one really puts much stake in.”

“Has he ever told anyone they can’t join?” Jensen asked.

Jared nodded. “A couple, but they were the type of people we wouldn’t want to be associated with, anyway. Hell, we’ve got a couple non-Wolves in our group.”

“Really?” Said Jensen. “Like what?”

“Well, there’s one Stag,” he said. There was a small smirk on his face when he said that that Jensen wondered about. “He’s kind of a jerk, but not bad. He’s the reason we make sure we don’t hunt anything bigger than rabbits, though. Just safer that way for him. Then there’s one Puma, and a Fox. You’ll probably not meet them, as those two are more unofficial members. The biggest reason Chad, the Stag, stays with us is he’s a friend of mine from way back, and any place a large number of Lycanthropes gather tends to scare off most of the large natural predators for the night. They come back when we’re gone, though, so don’t worry about us ruining the whole,” he made a circular motion with his hand. “Natural balance thing.”

“Alright,” Jensen said. “What else?”

“Don’t worry about trying to impress anyone, or offending anyone. Most likely by the time we get there it’ll be late enough that some people would have already shifted and disappeared. Once we get there, we’ll set up our tents, roll out our bags, and grab some food.”

Jensen nodded, trying to appear cool, calm, and collected even while his heart was pounding like a jackhammer.

He always knew that eventually he’ll go through the transformation that night, but everything was just becoming more real. It was really happening, he was going to go through this.

“Hey,” Jared reached over the center console to give Jensen a nudge in the arm. “Stop freaking out, it’ll be fine.”

Jensen sighed, “It just seems like even though everything changed for me once I got bit, it’s *tonight* that things officially are different. This is my life now, I’m a Lycanthrope.”

Jared ruffled Jensen’s hair roughly. “’Bout time you figured it out,” he said.

Jensen flailed, trying to get Jared’s hand off of his head. “Bitch!” he cursed, and had to grin and Jared’s answering laugh.

Maybe things would be different after that night, but Jensen was prepared for whatever may happen.

Part 3

Big Bang '09 Fic Post: The Righteous Man Regardeth (Part 1)

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 15:32:28 GMT

Title: The Righteous Man Regardeth
Author Name: eleke
Beta: Ramien
Artist Name: surevesta
Genre: J2 AU
Pairing: Jensen/Jared, very minor Danneel/Jensen
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 25646
Summary: All his life Jensen has been raised with one ultimate truth - that
werewolves are evil, and must be kept away for everyone's safety. After
a seemingly random attack one night during the full moon his life is
turned completely around and he becomes the very creature he'd been
raised to fear. Thankfully he met Jared, a man who would teach him
first hand how not to fear what he'd become, and to accept the beast
within.

Art by the crazy talented Surevesta this way.

(ETA: Oops! Fixed broken cut)

--------------------------------------------

AN: This is my first J2 fic, my first slash fic, and my first fanfiction. It wouldn't be possible without the help of Ramien poking and prodding me to write, working as a sounding board for my better ideas, and telling me in no uncertain terms what Just Doesn't Work. Thank you hun *kiss*.

And of course I have to give credit to the talented Surevesta who did the art for this fic, and the icons you see up there. I linked to her art post right under the summary, so make sure you go there!

--------------------------------------------

“The righteous man regardeth the life of his beast.” - John Lennon

The hunter inhaled deeply, scenting the night air even as it practically flew down the night streets, picking through the scent-trails of hundreds of other humans, animals, and vehicles had left throughout the day for that *one.* The trail was faint and almost cold, but it had expected this. It finally arrived at a good-sized building that fairly *oozed* food-smells, a restaurant, and knew it’s prey was inside. Instead of bursting in and causing a scene, it slunk to the back alley where it wiggled between two piles of garbage and waited. While a human wouldn’t be able to tolerate the stench of human detritus for very long in the hot night, to the hunter it was redolent with a feast of smells, it could almost taste the leftover bits of chicken, beef, lamb, and that just served to whet its hunger even more.

It didn’t have to wait too long; the last of the customers were already starting to leave when it’d arrived, but it kept it’s eyes focused on the rear exit, where it knew the prey would be leaving.

Finally, the door opened and people started to spill out, tired but joking and in good spirits after a good night’s service. The hunter stood slowly, keeping to the shadows and careful not to jostle any of the bags, though the cooks and wait staff that were leaving seemed more concerned with splitting up and getting home than watching the piles of trash for any predators lying in wait.

One of the last to leave was it’s prey, the target’s scent mixed delightfully with that of the meals he cooked. He was talking to one of his coworkers, obviously a continuation of an earlier conversation.

“Are you sure you don’t want a ride, Jen?” the co-worker asked, keys already in her hand. “You know it’s no problem for me to drive you home.”

Jensen, it’s prey, smiled reassuringly and shook his head. “Nah, I’m good. I don’t live too far and walking gives me a chance to unwind.”

Though the hunter already knew it’s prey’s habits, it dropped his jaw in a small smile at the news. If the prey was walking, then the hunt would be a lot easier. It was a smart predator, as all of it’s kind were, and although a challenge was fun, an easy hunt was much more preferred.

The other human frowned and glanced up at the sky where the moon hung bloated full. “I guess if you want, just be careful. Okay?”

Jensen had already started to walk away, but he tossed an “I’m always careful!” over his shoulder, and then the alley was empty.

It waited another few moments just in case someone else was about to leave the building or anyone was dallying in driving away, and slipped out from it’s cover and headed out, following the steady tread of it’s prey. It kept back, so the clicking of it’s nails against the concrete wouldn’t tip off it’s prey too early.

The street they were on was too busy for the hunt, and it had to stop and hide behind a parked car occasionally when a driver passed, hiding from the headlights on this night in particular. The hunter was patient, and that patience was rewarded at long last, the prey turned down a quieter street, and the hunter knew he had it’s chance. It was the last of the three nights of the full moon that night, and it knew that if it's prey managed to escape the creature would have to wait another month to have another chance.

Putting on a burst of speed it rushed forward, but the prey was cannier than it thought - maybe it heard it’s panting breath or the tap of nails on concrete, or maybe some sixth sense not used for generations since predators like itself had become less of a threat tipped him off, but Jensen turned just in time that the fangs that were aimed at his neck imbedded themselves in his shoulder.

The prey shouted as the weight of the hunter brought him down. It dug it’s teeth in deeper, snarling, while Jensen pushed and punched at it. It yelped when Jensen landed a solid punch right on it’s nose and let go, and the prey managed to roll always and regain it’s feet, left hand clasped over right shoulder where the blood was pouring out and staining his shirt.

Predator and prey eyed each other for a long moment, Jensen looking ready to run at the slightest movement, the hunter with it’s head low and feet planted wide. Finally the hunter turned and ran off, knowing it would seem to disappear into the night to it’s prey’s weaker senses. The goal wasn’t to kill the man, but to infect him.

Perhaps Senator Alan Ackles would change his stance on regulation if his own son was a Wolf.

-------------------------------

St. Radegund Hospital was quiet so late at night, so Jensen felt more awkward than he thought he otherwise would sitting at the curtained-off cot in the emergency room. His bite wound, which was not as bad as he thought it would be once all the blood was washed off, was stitched and wrapped in a clean white bandage, and he was given a purple scrub shirt to replace his ruined Tee.

He was waiting on some test results, and since the animal that attacked him looked like a big dog, and it was the night of a full moon that he had gotten attacked, he had a real bad idea of what sort of results he might get.

Which was Not Good for so many reasons.

Well. A couple main reasons.

For as far back as Jensen could remember his father had been after the regulation of werewolves and other weres. Who would want their kids to be taught by someone who turned furry and killed things with their own teeth once a month, to say nothing about what could happen if an instinctively aggressive creature joined the police force?

Jensen’s views he really couldn’t say. His father didn’t really lecture to him over the dinner table about the evils of werewolves, but he still knew without a doubt his parent’s stance from small comments here and there. Watching the news and hearing about a were-something-or-other suing a former employer over unfair treatment would elicit a derisive snort and a comment about how ‘some people’ should be happy with what they’ve got.

When Jensen was younger he had felt more or less the same way. Of *course* by bowing down to let werewolves and their ilk to do whatever they want they’re undermining the foundations the country was built upon. Somehow. But as he got older he lost that certain feeling. He didn’t think that his father was speaking absolute truth, but there was just something about weres that made him uncomfortable.

Still, whenever the subject of werewolves came up he’d nod along with whatever his parents said, agree wholeheartedly, and then try to change the subject.

If his tests came back positive, he’d have to tell his father. And that? He was definitely not looking forward to. He could just see it now; all of Alan Ackles’ political opponents suddenly having something ‘good’ against him, all of his speeches picked apart and analyzed. Meanwhile, Alan would have even more of a vendetta against werewolves, his crusade given new fervor. All the while Jensen would be stuck with that curse, forgotten by his father except for when he’d be thrown up as an example and then tossed aside as a disgrace.

Damn it.

A second reason was his girlfriend. He loved Danneel; she was funny, smart, and beautiful as all hell. Jensen felt lucky that she’d even give him the time of day, never mind date him for the past two years. If it wasn’t for the fact that her acting career sent her bouncing all around the country they would have moved in together long ago, and Jensen had been seriously considering proposing for a while. He didn’t even really know her stance on werewolf rights. It was his own fault, every time the conversation came up Jensen steered the subject away. He got enough of it every time he came home, he didn’t want to rehash the same subjects with his girlfriend. That, he could blame himself for, but suddenly he wished he knew if she’d be fine with him being furry every month or if she’d run screaming.

His depressed musings were cut short by the curtain being pushed aside, and the doctor he'd seen when he first entered came in. She carried a manila folder and a clipboard in one hand and took a seat at a stool next to the bed. “I'm sorry for the wait," she said. "Normally test results take even longer, but we're having a comparatively slow night and was able to get them done faster than usual."

Jensen shrugged. "Don't worry about it," he said, trying not to let the sudden spike of nerves influence his voice.

"We do have some news we have to discuss, Jensen,” Dr. Cortese said, her voice gentling..

Through the cold feeling in his gut and clenching in his heart, Jensen replied quietly, “That’s not really all that reassuring, doc.”

“I don’t want to sugarcoat things,” she said, scanning the paper fastened to the clip board. “What I have to tell you is going to cause some massive changes in your life. Jensen, the animal that attacked you was a Therianthrope, a werewolf if you will, and infected you. Judging by the size and shape of the teeth marks, it’s a safe bet to assume Wolf, rather than Coyote or Fox.”

Following her announcement was a deep silence until Jensen let out a whoosh of air in a heavy sigh, reaching up to run a hand through his hair.

“I kinda expected it, to be honest,” he said. “It being a full moon tonight and everything. Can’t say I like it, though.” Understatement of the year, Jensen thought, and winced.

“I know this is a big change,” Dr. Cortese said softly. “And this is why I have some paperwork for you to look at when you get home. With it is the name and phone number for someone you can get a hold of to talk with you. His name is Jared Padalecki - he's also a Therianthrope, a Wolf to be exact. Both of his parents were, so he'd been born as one, and is as much of an expert of Therianthropy as anyone else in the area. Both he and the paperwork you have will be able to help prepare you for next month, when you'll shift for the first time."

She handed the folder over as she talked, and Jensen leafed through the pages while listening to her voice drone in the background. There were diagrams of different types of weres, he saw. Mostly Wolves were shown, but a few others like a Tiger, a White tailed Deer, and a Fox, with differences between those and natural, feral animals. One bolded section of text caught his eye and he paused.

"Wait," he said, one finger pointing at the text. "It says here that I can be charged with endangerment if I don't tell any 'sexual partners' about being a werewolf. What the hell does that mean?"

Dr. Cortese paused for a moment before saying, "Therianthropy can be passed along several ways, and one of them is through sexual intercourse. Technically speaking, it can be considered an STD."

"Yeah," Jensen said, exasperated. "But you don't go to fucking jail if you give your girl friend herpes!"

"Current laws make a distinction between the two," she replied. "If you move to another state it might be a different story, but here you can face jail time if you pass it on."

Jensen covered his face with his hands and leaned back until his back thumped against the wall. These were the sort of things his family had been fighting to make more strict for years, and just then he felt just how embarrassing and invasive those measures were… and he’d just been officially a werewolf for only a few minutes.

Dropping his hands to his lap, Jensen looked at Dr. Cortese who was watching him back, eyes kind and patient. “So what does this Padaleki guy do exactly? Tell me the right ways to mark my territory, the proper pitch to howl at the moon with?”

Cortese's lips curved into a smile, bringing out dimples at either side of her mouth, and replied, “Like I said, he's a born Lycanthrope and have studied Therianthropy for years. Basically, if you have any questions at all, he'll have your answers. To my knowledge he's helped three others in the past leading up to their first transformation, and they’re all living full, happy lives. In all honesty,” she continued. “Though the numbers of accidental infections have gone down a *lot* in past years, you’re still in good hands.”

“Wait,” Jensen said, putting a hand up to cut Cortese off, who looked like he was starting in on a good spiel. “What do you mean ’accidental?’ It wasn’t like I tripped and landed my shoulder in a fuckin’ wolf’s open mouth! I was attacked. And now you are saying I’m going to be this, this *thing* every month because of it.”

Cortese was quiet for a minute or two before she said softly, "They're not all like that, Jensen. I know Jared personally, and there’s not a single other Therian that I know who would purposely attack a human in anything but self-defense.”

Jensen sighed, suddenly weary. “Whatever, fine. Can I call him later? I just need to rest on this for a while, alright? Wrap my head around this or something."

“Please don’t wait too long,” she said. “You wont show too many obvious signs of Lycanthropy until your first full moon a month from now, but it’s good to be prepared just in case.”

Yeah, Jensen thought. But nothing you say can prepare me to tell my dad and girlfriend that I’m a freakin’ werewolf.

“One more thing, Jensen,” Dr. Cortese spoke up. “Because this was a Therian attack I had to inform the cops, and an officer will be over soon to speak with you about the Wolf that attacked you.”

Jensen groaned. A long night was becoming even longer.

--------------------------------------------

When Jensen woke up several hours later it was to a shoulder that only mildly twinged, a headache, and the painful realization that he had to tell his parents what happened.

Putting the last aside for the moment, he headed to the bathroom to begin his morning (or very early afternoon, in his case) ablutions. He had just brushed his teeth and had started the shower going when he realized that his shoulder not only didn’t hurt badly, it didn’t hurt at *all.*

Gingerly unwrapping the dressing around his shoulder with his left hand, he watched as his own eyes grew wide and round in the bathroom mirror when, instead of the mangled, bruised mess his shoulder was in yesterday, all there was under the bandages was smooth skin, tiny threads of stitches still clinging to his flesh but falling away as he plucked them off. He could see tiny pockmarked scars where the werewolf had bitten down and tore, but where he’d expected a still-fresh wound instead looked months old, only the tiniest bit tender when he prodded around the joint.

This… is freaky. he thought. Academically, he knew that werewolves healed much faster than humans, but the rate and extent of the healing astounded him. He remembered a story where a were had gotten shot by a cop in some forgettably-named town in Georgia and managed to get back up and gore the deputy before backup could arrive, and at that moment he understood just how it had survived the gunshot. (Of course he remembered the story, it was a favorite at the Ackles’ kitchen table for months. It only fell out of being the main topic of conversation when a were-cougar was caught having an affair with one of his students, also a were. After that incident many states, including Jensen’s, made it a law barring weres from teaching positions.) Even though he was not 'fully' a werewolf and didn't have the full capabilities of one yet, he managed to totally heal a bad shoulder wound in mere hours.

However, the shoulder healing did more than just surprise him at just how fast a werewolf could heal, but also had more dire implications - that he really *was* a werewolf. At that first sign of his infection he knew in a distant sort of way that his life would be permanently changed, but that fact hadn’t really penetrated his brain until that moment in his bathroom.

With a hand that only shook a little, he turned the water off in his shower, burrowed back under his covers, and tried to sleep for another couple hours.

---------------------------------------------

Jared hit the speed dial on his cell phone as he leaned back in his padded computer chair, looking at the document he was typing as he listened to the ring on the other end. It was a couple hours until noon and usually Jeff was up by then after the full moon. Sure enough, after a couple rings, he heard a gruff “’Lo? What can I do for you, Jared?”

“I got some news,” Jared said. “But how did things go last night?”

“’Bout the same as always,” Jeff said. “We missed you these past couple-a days.”

Jared grinned at the slight reproach in Jeff’s voice. “You know I’d be there if I could,” he said. “But the deadline for this thing is coming up and my editor is breathing down my neck.”

“Ah, excuses. Anyway,” Jeff’s voice lost it’s lighter tone and turned more serious. “You wouldn’t be calling if it wasn’t important. What news?”

Jared frowned as he matched the same tone Jeff did, even though he wasn’t aware he was doing it. Jeff had that kind of influence, influencing others subtly, and without seeming aware he was even doing it. Just one of the reasons why he was such an effective Alpha.

“Someone got bit last night,” Jared said.

“Shit.”

“Yeah, shit. But that’s not even the worst part is who got bit. Ackle’s kid. Gen called me up last night and told me what she could. Apparently he was a bit shaken, but doesn‘t seem much like his old man, at least as far as she could tell.”

“God damn it,” Jeff cursed, and Jared could hear over the phone as the older man moved around, probably pacing by the sound of it. “This is not going to help us.” There was a brief pause and then Jeff asked, “What do you think we should do.”

Jared rolled his eyes. Another test. Of course. If Jared knew Jeff (and he did) he knew that behind that enquiring tone he'd had at least a couple possible paths they could take to clean the mess they've currently found themselves in, but wanted to hear Jared's plan first. “Ackles’ shirt got pretty tore up when he fought back, so the scent of the Wolf is bound to be all over it. Gen managed to snag a bit from the hospital, so I left a message for Misha to get a hold of me when he wakes up. He's got one of the better noses of us, so even if the scent isn’t familiar, we can try to track it down to whatever Wolf did it.”

“And after that?” Jeff asked.

“We can either bring him in, or…” Jared paused. Though Therians weren’t nearly as bad as some members of the media portray them, there were still some parts of Wolf culture in particular that were not talked about, and the less the general public knew about those aspects the better. They made Jared uncomfortable at times, even as he saw the use. They couldn’t have a Wolf randomly - or, considering the target of the attack, not-so randomly - attacking humans and turning them.

“…Or…?” Jeff prompted, and Jared silently cursed the man for making him say it.

“Or we deal with it like Wolves.”

“Like Wolves,” Jeff agreed softly. “Alright, when Misha drags himself out of his tent I’ll make sure he calls. Are you going to talk with Ackles Junior?”

“His name is Jensen,” Jared said, feeling a little protective of the man. He had a bleeding heart, Jared knew. Jared never saw him, but after Gen called him he'd looked the Ackle's family up, and knew what the younger son looked like. Jared could imagine him, shaking and pale in that hospital room and his heart clenched. “And I hope so. Gen gave him my number, and it’ll be good for him talking with someone who knows about being a Therian first hand, instead of going to a camp or something.”

Jensen wouldn’t be the first person Jared advised. Though he had a decently-paying job, in the past he’s offered his service guiding new Therians through their first change. There were three before Jensen.

The first was an EMT who’d gotten bit trying to help a delirious Wolf. The Wolf had liked to run during the full moon in a large park, and one of the people who lived next to the park wasn’t too comfortable raising kids in an area a Wolf liked to hang out. So one night he shot the Wolf as she crossed the property in her fur with a silver bullet (technically illegal, but easy enough to find if a person knew where to look). Delirious and in agony from silver poisoning, she managed to limp away and shift back to her skin before the EMT arrived, and no one knew until afterwards that she was a Therian.

The second was a high schooler whose boyfriend was a Fox, and in a fit of romantic delirium decided that if they were both Therians they’d have a bond to keep them together forever. Almost a week to the next full moon, they’d broken up, and Jared was left to explain to her what to expect and to guide her through her first shift. He’d barely managed to keep her parents from suing the boyfriend.

The third was an attack on another. There was an argument between two men over a parking space of all things, and one of the men, a Therian, shifted into his fur to attack the other, who barely managed to escape with his life. That case was brought to national attention and touted as another example of “Werewolf aggression,” but Jared personally felt that if one person really wanted to hurt another, they would use any weapon at hand. That was just one case where the aggressor just used himself.

“Knowing his daddy, do you think he has a choice?” Jeff asked, bringing Jared’s attention back into the present.

“I hope so,” Jared said, sighing.

----------------------------------------

Jensen looked around the kitchen, trying to find his boss. He’d managed to crawl out of bed barely in enough time to finally take his shower and finish up getting dressed before heading to work early, and he arrived earlier than usual to tell his boss, Frank, about his apparent new life.

Jensen found him in one of the big walk-in freezers taking inventory. Jensen rapped his knuckles at the side to get his attention, and Frank looked up in surprise to see him standing there.

“Hey, Jen,” he greeted. “You’re here early.”

Jensen nodded at the obvious, and did his best to keep his face blank, to not show how his heart was pounding and his palms were sweating. He had a good job here, and his boss was going to be the first person he’d tell about being a werewolf.

Apparently he wasn’t hiding his anxiety enough, because Frank lost his smile after a moment when Jensen didn’t respond and started to head out of the cooler. “How about we talk in my office?” Jensen followed submissively, and once they got to his crowded office he perched on the edge of the chair, elbows on knees.

Frank waited patiently behind his desk for a while, letting Jensen put his thoughts together. When Jensen finally let out of gusting sigh and leaned back, he said softly, “Can you tell me what the occasion is?”

Jensen barked out a quiet laugh, and said, “Remember how I walk home most nights?” When Frank nodded, he continued. “I got attacked last night.”

Frank’s eyes grew wide. “Jesus Christ, kid,” he said. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“I’m fine,” Jensen said, then winced. “Well, sort of. It was a fuckin’ werewolf that attacked me.”

Frank sat back with a sigh. “Fuck, kid. Did you get infected?”

Jensen nodded.

“Fuck.” Frank said again, and then a little louder, “Fuck. I don’t want to get rid of you, but -”

“Wait,” Jensen interrupted. “Wait, what are you talking about? ‘Get rid of me?’ Are you firing me?” He couldn’t sit still any more. He jumped to his feet and started pacing, running his hands through his hair.

“Calm down, Jensen!” Frank said, rising to his own feet as well. “I have to, you know that. If you get a cut and touch something and someone eats it, the restaurant will have a law suit so fast my head will spin.”

Jensen looked at Frank incredulously. “I’m not going to bleed all over a tiramisu and serve it to someone!”

“I know that,” Frank said, obviously trying to keep his voice calm. “I know you wouldn’t do something like that, but if it gets out I have a werewolf on my staff it's be the death of the place.”

Jensen didn’t easily lose his temper, but he almost did there. He was becoming something he’d been raised to hate, and because of that he lost his job. For absolutely nothing he did, other than choosing to walk home rather than accept a ride, his life was getting twisted on end. And not only that…

“So I’m screwed, then, right?” he said, wanting to thump his head against a wall a few times. Wanting to lose this sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. “Hey, it doesn’t matter that I went to school and put a shit-load of money down so I can be a professional chef, or that I've worked here for years, I get bit by the wrong dog and it doesn’t matter anymore.”

“I’m sorry, Jensen.” Frank said.

“Yeah,” he replied. “So am I.” Then he turned around and left, passing the few of his ex-co-workers who’d started to trickle in, giving him curious looks that he ignored.

The day was remarkably sunny and cheerful for such an emotionally bad one, Jensen thought as he walked home along the path the night before. He didn’t know what to do. He just lost his job, the one he worked his ass off to get. He had bills to pay, an apartment to pay for, a life to live. He should probably start looking for a job right away, but where? His entire work history was in kitchens; first washing dishes as a kid and through college, then as a chef in a couple Mom ‘n Pop diners, and a couple not-too-shabby restaurants before finally landing his most recent job. If he couldn’t work in a kitchen on the off chance he would ‘infect’ somebody, where did that leave him?

You can start by not being so god-damn depressed, he chastised himself as he got into the elevator leading to his apartment. He’ll figure out something, he knew. It was just the ‘figuring out’ part that would be the trick.

He frowned as he remembered the guy Dr. Cortese recommended him to, Jared Padalecki. She said he’d help, even if Jensen really didn’t want to hear it at the time.

At that time, however, he really just wanted someone to talk to. And anyway, if anyone knew what places that'd hire a werewolf, it had to be him. Maybe he’d have an idea of where he could go, who he could talk to for help. Someone out there has got to be hiring werewolves.

He flipped open the manila folder Cortese had given him the night before that he still hadn't had a chance to go over and pulled out the card stapled to one cover, pulled out his cell, and dialed the number before he could change his mind. He remained resolute while dialing, and while the phone was ringing, but when he heard a voice on the other end greet him with a cheery, “City Morgue, you stab ‘em, we slab ‘em,” he barked out a laugh and forgot all about being nervous or afraid.

“What?” he laughed.

“Oh, sorry, thought you were someone else,” Jared replied, and Jensen thought he could hear a note of embarrassment in his voice. “Speaking of, can I ask who’s calling?”

“Uh, yeah,” Jensen said. “This is Jensen. Jensen Ackles. My doctor, um. Dr. Cortese, she said to call you. I uh, I got bit.” He closed his eyes and cursed himself for sounding like an utter idiot over the phone.

“Ah, yeah. Gen told me you might be calling,” Jared said. His voice a bit quieter, more soothing, he asked, “How’re you doing?”

“Fine, I guess. Everything’s fine.” Jensen lied. Then, at the prompting silence at the other end he sighed. “No, everything’s not fine. I just got back from getting fired from my job. Apparently, it’s a faux pas or something to have a werewolf work in a kitchen.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Jared said, and what was worse was that Jared really did seem sorry. Sorry that Jensen had this whole new life dumped on him, making him go through this major change that he wasn’t anywhere near ready for.

“Yeah,” Jensen replied.

There was a long silence on both of their parts before Jared said, “Hey, are you busy doing anything for an hour or two? I'm about to get a coffee and maybe it'll be easier if we talk face-to-face.”

“Yeah,” Jensen said again. “That’d be great.”

------------------------------------------

The place they decided to meet up at was a little too far for Jensen to walk, and even though the price of gas and his pitiful savings were in the back of his mind, damn it, it was just too far. When he arrived at the coffee shop, he was glad to see that it wasn't exactly busy, so finding Jared wouldn't be too difficult. The problem was that none of the people sitting at the tables exactly screamed 'werewolf' to him.

As he stood a little indecisively he saw as one of the patrons, a tall lanky man with shaggy hair sitting over by a window, spot him and start waving him over. Thinking that he could be the one Jensen was looking for, Jensen headed over. The tall guy stood as Jensen approached and stuck out his hand to be shook. "Jensen, I assume?" the guy asked, and Jensen nodded.

A grin split the guy's face, showing off perfect rows of almost too-white teeth. "Great! I'm Jared Padelecki, but just call me Jared. I'm your local werewolf expert extraordinaire." He gestured to one of the empty seats. "Go ahead and have a seat. Let's talk."

‘Goof’ Jensen thought, not unkindly. But when he slid into the seat across from the table Jared was at, his nerves returned and he had to hide his hands under the table before Jared saw how much they were shaking.

If Jared had noticed his nervousness anyway, he didn’t give any indication when he gave the coffee he was holding a little lift and grinned. “This place sells some good stuff, I really recommend it,” he said.

“I’ll pass for now,” Jensen replied, but what he really meant was, ‘I’m so nervous that I’m afraid to walk again in case my legs can’t hold me. I’m scared out of my mind about what I’m going to turn into and what’s going to happen in my life, and I really don’t think sitting here drinking coffee is going to make any difference.’

Jensen liked the shorter version better.

Jared shrugged, not looking too concerned, and they sat for a moment, just people-watching. Slowly Jensen started to relax.

Eventually, though, the quiet started to grate on him. It felt like Jared was waiting for him to make the first move, to be the first to reach out, and finally Jensen blurted out, “What’s it like?”

Jared looked bemused. “What, the coffee?”

“No,” Jensen said tightly. “What’s it like being a werewolf?”

Jared sighed, and said, “I can pretty much ask you what it’s like being a human. I was born this way, even if I didn’t start shifting until I was thirteen. Do you mean what it’s like being in my fur?”

Jensen blinked a couple times, “Being in your…fur?”

Jared made a rolling motion with the hand that wasn’t holding the coffee. “You know, being furry. As a Wolf, in my fur. Also, I‘d watch the whole ‘werewolf‘ thing. There‘s more than just Wolves out there, though according to Hollywood we‘re the only kind that matters, and some get pretty offended at the term. The general catch-all word is Therianthrope, or Therian.”

“Ah.” Jensen said. He’d heard the term before, but didn’t really think about it too much. Everyone he knew just said ‘werewolf’ and meant the whole lot of them, so he did likewise.

“Anyway, it’s amazing, Jensen,” Jared said, giving Jensen another one of those blindingly white grins and leaning forward, like a little boy telling someone about his favorite video game or cartoon. “You can smell things you’ve never dreamed about, and hear *so* much better than you ever can in your skin,” Jensen didn’t need an explanation for that one. “Plus when you start running, just feeling the wind rush by and feeling the joy of just *running*, it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced. Every Therian I know looks forward to the full moon.”

Jensen looked down at his hands, which at that point were fiddling with a candle that was on the table. Listening to Jared describe how good it was being a werewolf, he didn’t want to see his expression when Jensen asked, “Is it worth it, though?”

“Worth what?”

“I just got fired from my job,” Jensen said. “I’m a pastry chef, and worked at the same place for a few years, and I just got fired because I got bit. Plus there's some laws out there that seriously have me scared. Do you know in California a bill has been proposed to allow full disclosure of any werewolf's medical history without a warrant? Um. Therian, I mean. Anyway, I know you can see where I’m going with this, right? Is it worth all this hassle?”

Jared was quiet for a minute, apparently thinking it over. When he finally responded he spoke slowly, thinking over everything just as he said it. “Honestly, there’s a lot of things that kind of suck about being a Therian. Jobs are rare, and even then there are a lot of employers that just don’t understand, and treat us like second-class citizens. But you know what? Even with all that, for those three nights of the full moon? Yeah, it’s worth it.”

Jensen didn't know whether or not he understood. How can just being able to run around on all fours be worth all that?

“Seriously, man,” Jared said. “All most Therians want is to just be left alone. They aren’t vicious killers out to turn anyone that they don’t eat.”

“The Scourge,” Jensen blurted, almost absentmindedly but immediately wanted to take it back when Jared winced. “Sorry.”

“Yeah,” Jared said. “There was that. That’s a dark time in our history, dude, and no one looks back on that too happily.”

The Scourge was one of the main reasons why Wolves were so much more populous than other kinds of Therians. Back some time in the medieval ages a big pack of Wolves decided that the best way for them to gain power over humans was to turn as many as they could. Once there were enough Wolves in the world, or at least in their lands, they’d be able to take down whole empires. Or something stupid like that. So what they did was each night of the Full Moon they’d sneak into a village or town, staying away from the better defended areas and keeps, and bite as many people as they could.

Eventually the pack was hunted down and most of the original members slain, but the damage was done. The number of the infected numbered in the hundreds, and most sources say that was the event that made Therians in Europe and eventually the Americas Public Enemy #1.

It was a ridiculous plan that was doomed from the start - all that would happen, and did happen, was instead of making werewolves something to be respected and feared, they ended up being hunted and feared.

“Yeah,” Jensen repeated, embarrassed. “Sorry.”

Jared shrugged. “Don’t worry about it, it’s ancient history.”

“I gotta say one last thing, though,” Jensen said after a brief silence.

“Yeah?”

Jensen looked up and gave Jared a wry smile. “I’m really not this emo normally.”

His weak attempt to lighten the mood seemed to work when Jared barked out a laugh. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah,” Jensen said, grinning and pushing his chair back so he could stand. “I’m going to get myself something to drink, and then we’re going to have the most *non* emo conversation ever.”

“Ever huh?” Jared teased. “That’s going to take an effort.”

“You’re on,” Jensen said, heading to the counter.

---------------------------------------------------------

Two days later, there was still no lead on the Wolf that bit Jensen. Misha’d done his best to track it, managed to determine the wolf was an adult male that had some sickness that made it's scent sour, but nothing beyond that. The trail had gone cold and Jensen’s shirt, their only lead, was passed around to others to remember the scent in case they ever encountered the Wolf again. The cops were no help either: they did their best to keep Jensen’s identity a secret, and so far there were no reporters knocking on his door or anything, so he supposed they weren’t doing to bad at that. However, other than asking around and taking some samples from the area of the attack and saliva samples that had been found on his clothes, they also didn’t have any idea who’d done the attack yet. Whatever Wolf bit him, it didn’t have a criminal history. They were still looking into the attack, but until more evidence comes up, there wasn’t anything more they could do.

Meanwhile, both days were spent with Jared and Jensen hanging out. Jensen continued the job hunt during the day, avoiding speaking of his lycanthropic condition to either of his parents nor Danneel with a certain sort of avoidance that comes from trying to pretend for the sake of others that nothing has changed. During their occasional phone call he did his best not to blurt out the whole messy affair

Of course, avoiding an issue only works for so long, and it was only a matter of time until he was forced to come clean.

He’d come home from another failed excursion in filling out applications at just about any place that’d hand them out, no longer trying to be picky and just going for just a job, any job, until he could find something better. He didn’t notice Danneel’s car parked outside at the curb, but when he went to take his shoes off inside his apartment door and saw a pair of sleek white pumps that weren’t there before he felt his heart give a lurch in his chest and his palms grow sweaty.

“Jen?” He heard coming from the kitchen. “Is that you?”

“Y-yeah,” he said, stammering just a little. He cleared his throat and toed off his shoes, kicking them to the side before turning the corner to the kitchen. There was Danneel; beautiful, witty Danneel, who was taking some produce out of some white grocery bags and sticking them in his fridge.

He wasn’t prepared for this, for her. He braced himself with one hand against the doorway as she put away a small bag of grapes and headed towards him, a small, welcoming smile on her face.

“What are you doing here?” he asked her, instinctively wrapping his arms around her waist as she reached up to wrap her arms around his neck.

“Feeding you, apparently,” she said, lowering one hand long enough to poke him in his belly. “I got here earlier and you had nothing in your fridge but condiments and some questionable bologna. I thought chefs are supposed to actually know how to feed themselves.”

As she spoke she started tugging on the back of his neck, lowering his face closer to hers, and her kiss was a period. He kept his lips pressed against hers, eyes closed and just breathed her in: inhaling her smell, the scent of her perfume, deodorant, soap, shampoo, and beneath all that her own unique scent. He pulled away just enough so he could lower his face to her neck, nuzzling her skin and inhaling more of her personal scent, snuffling behind her ear where the smell was strongest.

He missed her, this tiny woman of whom he could span the entire span of her hips with his hands. She was gone for too long, off shooting her TV show and left him behind to face getting turned by some random attack. But she was back, and, *God* she smelled so good. And she tasted better, he found, as he started to kiss and lick at her neck and jaw, ducking his head an almost uncomfortable amount to reach. He ran his teeth down the tendon in her neck, and except for a moment of ‘yuck, perfume, bitter’ her skin tasted sweet and clean with a tang of sweat from the warm day outside. His cock was hard in his pants, and he pressed his hips against hers, grinding his erection into her and hissing at the delicious pressure.

“Jensen,” he heard, dimly. He growled softly at the interfering noise, and nosed the skinny strap of Danneel's dress to the side so he could kiss and suck along more along her shoulder, more skin bared to his teeth, his mouth. She was *his* girlfriend, and had no right to run off like that and leave him alone. He growled again, about to sink his teeth in, make her his own. “Jensen, stop. *Stop.*” Suddenly that golden span of skin disappeared and his head wrenched to the side.

Jensen found that bit of skin again with his eyes, and was about to step forward when he caught sight of Danneel's face, and realization about just how he was acting, what he was feeling slapped him across the face.

Danneel had backed up a couple steps so that she wasn’t pinned against the doorway anymore, staring at Jensen with wide eyes. He felt over-warm and sweaty, and small tremors raced through his body. He still wanted her under his hands, he had the taste of her in his mouth and her scent in his nose, and he still *wanted* her.

But the *way* he wanted her… *God,* he never felt like that before. He didn’t just want her, he wanted to *own* her, he wanted to *turn* her. He felt the blood drain from his face, and he turned away. He felt like throwing up; there was a heavy weight in his belly, shame and disgust in himself. And worry. He never wanted to just own her like that, so it had to have something to do with his being infected. Jared acted like being a Wolf was the best thing since candy, but that? That was just scary.

“Jensen, are you okay?” Danneel asked, and Jensen had to almost rip his eyes off of her neck (was that a hickey forming there? God!) to focus on her face. Her slender eyebrows were raised in concern, but with a little furrow of confusion between them. “What’s wrong? What’s with you?”

Jensen felt sick. After nearly *attacking* her like that she was still concerned about him. Jensen stumbled on legs that felt like Jell-o to the kitchen table and collapsed into one of the chairs, head in his hands.

He could hear her soft footsteps as she came closer, but refused to look up at her, just in case that… that *craziness* took him over again.

“Jensen, baby, you’re really starting to worry me here,” Danneel said, and Jensen could hear the worry in the quaver in her voice. He caught a glance of movement between his fingers, and when he lowered his hands Danneel was crouched next to his chair, one hand on his chair. She was looking up at him with big liquid eyes framed in dark lashes.

He felt that possessiveness again rising up, wanted to take and own. His dick twitched in his pants.

Jensen shot to his feet so fast that his chair fell back with a clatter like a gunshot and was at the other side of the room in an instant. He pressed himself against the sink counter, hands braced on either side. As much as he wanted to turn away, he kept his eyes on Danneel; the better to make sure she didn’t get too close until he got this *whatever* controlled.

“Jensen, seriously, what’s your problem?” Danneel said, rising to her feet, one hand on her hip. A bit of irritation seeped into her voice by then, and Jensen swallowed a couple times before he could speak.

“Danneel, I got something I need to tell you,” he said. After that he hesitated, unsure about what to say next, how to break the news.

Danneel snorted indelicately. “I’m sure,” she said. “You’re freaking out over *something*, obviously.”

Jensen swallowed again. His twisting belly hurting so bad he pressed a hand to his gut. “It’s kinda important.”

“I’m sure.”

“…Maybe you should sit down?”

“Jensen!”

“Alright, alright,” he sighed. He took a deep breath and stared at a discolored spot on his otherwise clean ceiling. “The other night I got bit by a werewolf. Therian. That.”

Danneel was quiet for so long that Jensen started to fidget, still refusing to look at her. Still, he could hear her as she pulled out another chair and sat heavily.

“How long ago?” she finally asked. Jensen glanced up to see her staring at the kitchen table, hands in her lap.

“About three days,” Jensen said, barely louder than a whisper. She apparently heard because she nodded, still not facing him.

There was another long silence until Jensen cleared his throat and asked, “Is it… is it okay? I mean, will this be a problem?”

“’Will this be a problem?’” she echoed, and Jensen winced at the bitterness in her voice. “A *problem,* Jensen? What do you think?” She looked up, and Jensen gulped at the tears running down her face. “Oh, my *God,* you’re a werewolf!”

“It’s not that big of deal,” Jensen said weakly in the face of her irritation. “I’ve been talking to a guy, and he says that a lot of werewolves - Therians,” he corrected himself. “Have fully human spouses and have no problem.”

“We’re going to have a problem!” she said, nearly yelling. “What about sex, Jensen? I don’t *want* to be a werewolf, too!”

“We can use condoms,” Jensen said, feeling sick.

“Condoms break,” she said. “And what about kids? I *know* you were wanting to have a family one day, do you really want have your kids be, be that?” she finished with a flailing hand gesture, apparently indicating Jensen’s Therian-ness.

“We can adopt,” Jensen said, starting to feel desperate. “C’mon, baby, we can figure something out, right?” He ignored the little voice at the back of his mind saying, ‘do you really want to stay together? Remember what happened only a few minutes ago, how you attacked her?’

“I don’t think so, Jensen,” she said. What’s worse, she sounded honestly upset, her voice hitching and tears still streaming down her face. “Do you know how easily you can infect me, how easily…” he voice trailed off, and her eyes grew wide as her hand flew to her throat.

“I didn’t break skin,” Jensen said quickly, but Danneel wasn’t listening as she nearly ran out of the kitchen to get to the bathroom. Jensen followed more slowly and listened as the sink turned on, and he entered the bathroom to see her scrubbing at her neck with a towel. Between the hot water and the force of her scrubbing her skin was turning a bright red.

“I’m sorry,” he said, feeling his own eyes well up embarrassingly.

Danneel wasn’t listening though, and she threw the hand towel down into the sink and wrenched the faucet closed. Head ducked, apparently so she wouldn’t look him in the face, she pushed passed Jensen and headed down the hallway, to the door.

“I’m so sorry, Danneel, please,” he begged, not even sure what he was begging her for. Forgiveness? For her to stay?

Danneel didn’t even bother putting her shoes back on, just picked them up with one hand and opened the door with the other. As she closed the door behind her, Jensen heard her parting comment:

“So am I.”

--------------------------------

Jensen fumbled at his ringing cell phone, staring blankly at the screen for a long moment before the name finally penetrated his brain. Sinking deeper into his couch cushions, he flipped open the phone and raised it to his ear.

“H’lo?” he grumbled, watching the bikini-clad model on the TV talk about Spring Break (barely audible over the hoots and shouts of the partying crowd behind her) with a sort of distant fascination.

“Jen, it’s me, Jared,” came the voice over the phone. “Good news, I managed to find someone willing to hire you. It’s just at s warehouse and loading crates and stuff, but it’s something until you find a better job.”

“Great, great,” Jensen said. At the back of his mind he knew that it was good mood, but he was just too depressed to even care at that moment. “I ‘ppreciate Jared, I do.”

“…Jensen?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you drunk?”

Jensen glanced at the fifth he still had loosely clasped in one hand and shrugged, even though he knew Jared couldn’t see it over the phone. “A little, yeah.”

Jared chuckled, his voice warm over the phone. “Partying without me, man? What’s the occasion?”

Jensen snorted. “No party, man. Danneel just broke up with me.”

“Ah, shit,” Jared said. “I’m sorry about that. Hey, you want me to come over? Drunken wallowing is more fun when there’s two people.”

Jensen made a rude noise and said, “Whatever, man. Just… do whatever you want. Bring more booze, ‘cause you‘re not drinking mine.”

Jared laughed again, but even drunk Jensen could tell it was forced. “Stingy bastard. Alright, I’ll be over in a few. Don’t pass out yet, though: I’ll need you to buzz me in.”

Jensen flipped the phone shut and dropped it, not caring where it landed, took another sip of his cheap whiskey, and zoned out for a long moment. It wasn’t too long until he heard the ring signaling someone at his door, and he stood up, took a few moments to relearn how to stand upright, and stumbled over to the button on the wall and buzzed Jared in. He was still leaning on the button when a large hand gently grasped his own and lifted it off the switch.

“Jesus, Jen,” Jared said softly, holding Jensen’s shoulders (and truthfully was the *only* thing holding him up at that point) and giving him a look over. “You’re not drunk, you’re pissed.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Jensen said. He tried to push Jared to the side so he could head back to his very comfortable couch, but as soon as Jared took his hands off of him he started listing to the side. Thankfully Jared caught him and guided him over to the couch himself. “It’s not fair,” he said as soon at his rump hit cushion.

“What isn’t, this crap you’ve bought?” Jared asked, giving the bottle of Banker’s Jensen had been drinking from. He gave it a wary sniff and made a face.

“Shuddup, it’s cheap and it gets me drunk.” Jensen sighed and let his head fall back against the top of the couch. “No. Wait. It’s fair. It’s completely fair and I’m just being a fucking pussy about it. I should’ve known better and just… hid or something.”

“Jensen, you’re not really making a whole lot of sense here, buddy. What‘s not fair?” Jared said, setting the fifth down on the coffee table with just a slight thunk.

“Danneel, man. She broke up with me. Did you know that?”

He could see Jared nod at his periphery. “Yeah, you told me on the phone, remember?”

Jensen tried to nod, but with his head still tipped against the back of the couch it just made him feel a little dizzy. “Yeah, guess so. But I can’t blame her, y’see? It’s totally fair. Completely fair. Ab-so-fucking-lutely fair. Especially after I fuckin’… *attacked* her. God!” He squeezed his eyes closed, trying not to let the tears he could feel welling up out, but he could still feel them squeeze out.

Jared was completely still beside him for a moment, just breathing. After a while he rose to his feet, and clapped his hands together once loud enough to make Jensen jump. “Alright,” he said. “I think what we need to do is get you to bed so you can sleep off this drunk. Then when you sober up a bit you can tell me what you’re talking about, okay?”

“It’s eight o’clock,” Jensen said, not even caring that it came out sounding like a petulant five year-old.

“And you’re shitfaced, which is why you’re going to bed,” Jared said, hauling on Jensen until he stood. Jensen stumbled forward when his head seemed to suddenly gain about a hundred pounds, but Jared was once more able to catch him, Jensen just tipping before Jared was able to catch him; a warm solid wall being gentle enough it made Jensen’s eyes burn with tears he was definitely *not* going to shed.

Jensen leaned close and rubbed one hand across Jared’s shoulder, gruffly affectionate. “You’re a good guy, Jared,” he said, voice wet.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jared replied distantly, propelling Jensen across the floor.

“No really,” Jensen said, really *needing* Jared to know that. “Really. You’re a great guy. Nicest werewolf I’ve ever known. Nicest werewolf in the world, prob‘ley.”

Jared snorted as he pushed the bedroom door open with one arm, Jensen tucked under the other. “Aren’t I the only werewolf you’ve ever known?”

He had to think about it for a moment, long enough for Jared to set him down on the bed. “Yeah, I think so. Personallally, anyway.”

“There we go, then,” Jared said, pushing at Jensen’s chest with a steady pressure until he got the message and lay back against his pillow. “You don’t know a whole lot of Therians 'personallally,' so there’s no way for you to know I’m the nicest one in the whole world.”

Jensen grunted his assent - he didn’t really care one way or the other - but when Jared started to pull away, Jensen grabbed his hand. He turned on his side and pulled Jared’s big hand close, holding it with both of his own hands and met Jared’s eyes.

“I’m glad you’re the first werewolf I ever met, Jared,” he said.

Jared smiled and used his free hand to gently extract the other from Jensen’s grasp, but instead of pulling away he knelt at the edge of the bed. He ran a hand through Jensen’s hair, scratching lightly, and smiled. “Go to sleep Jensen,” he advised. “We’ll talk in the morning.” With that, he stood up, turned off the bedroom light, and closed the door.

Part 2

Cliche Bingo, Go!

Mon, 22 Jun 2009 04:43:07 GMT

So I signed up for Cliche Bingo, and just got my card. I'm going to go for a blackout and already have a few ideas.

Supernatural reaction post

Fri, 15 May 2009 02:27:06 GMT

The conversation with the boyfriend over IM during the episode. Keep in mind he was about half an hour ahead of me because I had things to do.

blackwhiteharu: *starts Supernatural from the beginning*
blackwhiteharu: *Jams to Carry on my Wayward Son*
ramiengrey: *nods* good opening
ramiengrey: *cheers and winces for Dean*
blackwhiteharu: How come everything interesting ever happens in America?
ramiengrey: To keep production costs down
blackwhiteharu: uh oh... *bites nails*
blackwhiteharu: wait, YELLOW EYES?
ramiengrey: 1972
blackwhiteharu: WTF DOES HE HAVE YELLOW EYES? AZAZEL'S BACK??!?!
blackwhiteharu: Oh yeah
blackwhiteharu: Done got me excited
ramiengrey: Okay, certain angels are gonna have to die
blackwhiteharu: Oh hey, reminds me of a bible verse that specifically mentions 'Zaz. Remind me to look it up later (About the 'lost in the desert for years' bit)
ramiengrey: Kk
blackwhiteharu: Aw, Deanie's moping
blackwhiteharu: *snerk* Bobby
ramiengrey: Yep
blackwhiteharu: *smacks Dean*
blackwhiteharu: YOU TELL HIM BOBBY
blackwhiteharu: ^ x2
ramiengrey: Hehe
blackwhiteharu: And then Cas had to mess it up
blackwhiteharu: .... are those platters full of beer and burgers?
blackwhiteharu: Dean's in heaven
ramiengrey: *cheers Cas*
ramiengrey: You'll see
blackwhiteharu: *fidgets*
blackwhiteharu: ...Zach offering Dean TV characters is creepy
ramiengrey: *hugs*
blackwhiteharu: ouch, low blow. Zach: "You started all this"
ramiengrey: Yeah. I always figured Dean would have been more a Mary Ann type anyways
blackwhiteharu: Wow, Cas trapped Dean there
ramiengrey: Yep
ramiengrey: Eeeeeeeeeep
blackwhiteharu: *flails*
blackwhiteharu: Eep, Sam torturing demons. She deserves it, but still
ramiengrey: Yep
blackwhiteharu: Aww, Dean called... to say... I love you... He just called, to say, how much he cared...
ramiengrey: Just wait...
blackwhiteharu: You know, I hope Sam put that baby where someone could find it
ramiengrey: Probably left it there
blackwhiteharu: Eep, sneaky demoness
ramiengrey: Mhmmm
blackwhiteharu: fast forwarding...
blackwhiteharu: That nun is creepy
ramiengrey: That nun is dead
blackwhiteharu: well yeah.
ramiengrey: ruby's
blackwhiteharu: Okay, Sam shoving that woman into a trunk? Dis-tur-bing
blackwhiteharu: Heh, Dean killed an angel statue
ramiengrey: Yep
ramiengrey: Yep
ramiengrey: Oh shit. Can not end like that
blackwhiteharu: ht83wtht83hg8P
blackwhiteharu: I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO BE A CLIFFHANGER AND WHY IS RUBY DRIVING?
ramiengrey: Just be glad it's not the Impala
blackwhiteharu: Yeah, then just the pure wrath would hurt something
blackwhiteharu: Ha! I knew that Zach was gunning for an Apocalypse
ramiengrey: Yep, told you it was Good Omens all over again
ramiengrey: Although a lot of people were saying that, as I recall
blackwhiteharu: Wait, Zac knew enough of modern media for Russel Crowe reference, but not Suite Life of Zack and Cody?
blackwhiteharu: Zach*
ramiengrey: Zac seems to prefer slightly more adult entertainment. Phil laughed at the 2 virgins and 70 sluts comment
blackwhiteharu: Dean's heaven
ramiengrey: Yep
blackwhiteharu: Heee, punching angels seems to hurt
ramiengrey: Yep
blackwhiteharu: wait, did Cas just say that Sam's going to heaven?
blackwhiteharu: considering what he's done?
blackwhiteharu: DO THE RIGHT THING CAS!
ramiengrey: Not sure about that, just that he has a part to play - kinda like Judas in that regard
blackwhiteharu: Right, the whole 'if not for his betrayal, Jesus would have never been crucified' thing
blackwhiteharu: Aww, Dean and his boyfriend are on the outs...
blackwhiteharu: ....
ramiengrey: Yep
blackwhiteharu: Dean's message
blackwhiteharu: ght4p0wth4 RUBY GRRR
blackwhiteharu: I HATE HER NOW FOR MORE THAN BEING JUST AN ANNOYANCE
ramiengrey: Told you a certain angel's gonna die. You and I both know who did that little message trick
blackwhiteharu: ...?
blackwhiteharu: Dean's gonna drink angel blood?
blackwhiteharu: Oh, nevermind
ramiengrey: Nope
blackwhiteharu: It would have been an awesome reflection though
ramiengrey: And far too slashy
blackwhiteharu: CHUCK
blackwhiteharu: ...so?
ramiengrey: This is Dean we're talking about. He who does not like guys or the idea of slash
blackwhiteharu: Sam is so fucking badass
ramiengrey: Wait for it.
blackwhiteharu: He said specifically no to him with Sam, nothing about Cad
blackwhiteharu: Cas*
blackwhiteharu: ...I really hope Castiel knows what he's doing
blackwhiteharu: *bites nails*
ramiengrey: And Dean would rather wait for Anna, if he needed angel blood
ramiengrey:
blackwhiteharu: *BITES HER FUCKING NAILS*
ramiengrey: *hugs*
blackwhiteharu: BLACK EYES!!!!!!
ramiengrey: Yep
blackwhiteharu: no smokey go poof?
ramiengrey: Nope
blackwhiteharu: *speaks like a big girl* I mean, she didn't puke black smoke?
ramiengrey: Nope. that doesn't happen when he just kills them. Remember Alistair?
blackwhiteharu: Ah right
ramiengrey: Black smoke = banishment
blackwhiteharu: Oh Ruby is dead
ramiengrey has signed back in. (5/14/2009 10:17 PM)

ramiengrey: You did say you wanted her to be working for the bad guys instead of trying to reform...
blackwhiteharu: Well yeah, so that we can have Dean going all righteous wrath on her like he just did SO AWESOMELY
ramiengrey: Yep
blackwhiteharu: Now we just need a bit of the stabbity to Anan
ramiengrey: And notice Sam holding her for him
blackwhiteharu: Yep, held her nice and still
blackwhiteharu: TEHWOPTH930H'Y690GHY92HW2Y40
blackwhiteharu: IT CANNOT END THERE!
ramiengrey: Dunno if Anna's going to return anytime soon. She's still in Bible Camp
blackwhiteharu: at least they're together *HUGS THEM CLOSE*
blackwhiteharu: And they're up against both heaven and hell...
blackwhiteharu: Those angels and demons have absolutely no idea what they're in for
ramiengrey: Cas and Anna do
ramiengrey: And remember, the *real* Apocalypse is all of us against all of them
blackwhiteharu: Well yes
blackwhiteharu: Which makes me wonder if next season the Supernatural gets 'out'
blackwhiteharu: So... *looks around* is it September yet?

Supernatural reaction post

Fri, 08 May 2009 02:31:37 GMT

So. I think we all sort of saw this coming for a while, folks. It's truly become Sam vs. Dean, even though they're both fighting for the same goal.

What I liked about Sam's detox sequence is that we're/he's getting to look at just what he feels about himself. From Wee!Sammy we get his guilt, his (wrongful) self-accusations about being responsible from Jessica's death. And if it wasn't for Dean, she'd still be alive. Mary tells him that he's doing the right thing, and that he feels that she'd be proud of him (and it's interesting that he's subconsciously looking for her approval, instead of, say, John's). And that Dean is weak. And from Dean himself, accusations that he's a monster.

All that boils down to that what Sam's doing isn't altogether respectable, but Dean's his real enemy.

Sam's just burning just about every bridge he's got, isn't he?

Also, Jared was just *rocking* his role today. Between the hallucinations, the tears, the anger, and the heartache, he was just simply awesome.

Dean and Bobby listening to Sam screaming in the basement made me tear up. Oh, *boys*.

Last week my heart ached for Jimmy, but whatever happened to Castiel up in heaven he's become kinda a dick. I don't like how he seems to be manipulating the boys to go up against each other. Don't give me wrong, I'm still going to fangirl him, but it's a fangirlishness with a touch of suspicion.

Parts that have had me giggling inappropriately:

Bobby telling Dean that they love Sam too much. (I sort of mentally erased Bobby from that equation, I admit.)
Sam and Dean in the Honeymoon Suite.

To sum up:
*KEYSMASH* IS IT THURSDAY YET?!?!?!??!*

Isn't it great?

Thu, 07 May 2009 02:17:47 GMT

When the boyfriend sees that Newsweek has posted an article about Kirk/Spock fanfiction and immediately thinks of me *grins*.

Drabble meme

Mon, 04 May 2009 03:00:57 GMT

I asked zannes for one, so it's my turn to post *grin.*

The first FIVE people to comment in this post get to request a drabble of any pairing/character of their choosing from me. In return, they have to post this in their journal, regardless of their ability level.

Proof that I can be made to wear a dress

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 17:29:18 GMT

Is it can be birthday time?

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 16:41:28 GMT

Okay, so my birthday was two days ago. I tend to forget about these things :p

It was actually pretty cool - I hit the double 2's (I can no longer say that I am blackjack) and my brothers got me the same thing they got me last year (that is, nothing) but dad took me out for breakfa- er. Lunch. Lunner? We kinda kept putting it off and watching recorded episodes of "Bizzare Foods." And I drank a Kahlua Mudslide to celebrate. And that's pretty much it, haha.

And Happy B-day to Meg as well! Don't celebrate too hard for your 21'st :P

Stereotypes and racism in my town

Wed, 27 Aug 2008 17:47:02 GMT

I hate perpetuating the stereotype that people who live in rural areas are racist, but *damn* if I'm not seeing a whole lot saying otherwise. Most of it I've seen first hand has been towards my bosses.

Johnny and Wadi were both born in Iraq and immigrated here roughly thirty and twenty years ago, respectively, and I hardly a day goes by that one of the customers make a comment about them to me about them - rarely in a good way. If it was about them as a person, this little rant wouldn't exist, but rather because of the color of their skin. Just yesterday I had a guy come in who explained to me, calmly and oh-so-rationally (::rolls eyes::) that he trusts me not to overcharge him, but "As much as he likes Johnny" he doesn't "trust those A-rabs." Not to mention all the people I've heard slinging around the n-word. I've sort of mastered the "Blankly stare until they leave" look. The bosses would be pissed if I kicked out a customer, even if they were being an ass.

The local skinhead keeps wanting me to go out with him. Um. No. Even if I didn't find them disgusting, I wouldn't want to bring anyone into my house that I would feel uncomfortable introducing to my niece and her mother. Or my little cousins and their parents. And I swear if he calls me 'sweetie' or 'honey' or 'baby' one more time, I'm going to stick something pointy in some place tender on his body.

Funny (to me) conversation today

Sun, 24 Aug 2008 04:58:58 GMT

Whilst trying on bodice at Renfest:

Saleslady: So what cup size are you? B? C?
Me: *boggles* A
Saleslady: Really?
Me: ...Go-go-gadget push-up bra?

Okay, I totally didn't say that last part at the time, but I thought it!

....About an hour after I left. ::Facepalm:: Seriously, I'm flat-chested, and for a long time it's been one more thing I was body-conscious about. Now that I'm starting to finally feel okay with how I look, I apparently have a cup-size twice as big as I thought!

Sex style quiz

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 03:18:32 GMT

Your result for The What's your sexual style? Test...

TYPE L

You are a KINKY, SHY, DOMINANT lover to prefers to GIVE

This means that:

You like relatively kinky sex, and you have the great imagination that will always keep your partner guessing and excited! There's no getting bored with you around, you could never settle for dull sex, you want something fun and new all the time. You aren't afraid to try out anything you hear about. You might just be an intelligent lover who needs to be mentally engaged, or perhaps you have some dirty dark secret kinky desires, but either way, you're never boring.

You can be a little shy in bed, so maybe this means that you'd prefer to have sex in the dark, or maybe just that you have all sorts of naughty ideas bubbling under the surface but can't quite work up the confidence to speak about most of them. Sometimes it takes you a while to speak up about what you like, and you aren't very confident in your talents but I bet your lovers would say otherwise, I'm sure your sweet nature is far more welcome than egotistical boasting.

You tend to be dominant in bed, so you prefer to be the one giving the orders than taking them. Maybe you like the power, or just like controlling the pace, perhaps your partner likes to be dominanted, or maybe you get a kick out of the whole master/slave relationship, it could be something as small as liking to be on top during sex and tie up your lover to tease them, or it could be as kinky as them having to ask your permission to do anything at all. Either way, you are firm and you enjoy it!

You prefer to give than recieve. This makes you a very unselfish lover, devoted to the needs of your partner rather than your own. You get your pleasure from seeing them get theirs, you are a model sex partner. I'm sure plenty of people would love to have someone like you in bed with them! Remember though that if your partner gets pleasure from returning the favour it's okay to let them, they might love giving as much as you do!

WE SUGGEST YOU TRY:
Sharing your deepest, darkest fantasies. You and your lover might come up with some really good ideas to try out if you have a really sexy discussion about things you'd always wished you'd done. Then maybe you can make them true, or just act them out, or merely get turned on sharing them. You can take charge and make your partners dreams come true! Just get up the confidence to share, we know you have plenty of details lurking in that kinky imagination of yours!

Take The What's your sexual style? Test at HelloQuizzy

Hairstyles my mom wont approve

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 03:16:45 GMT

This is either the coolest thing ever, or the creepiest. I'm gunning for creepiest.

Though the *talent* to make these just boggles the mind.

I want to go to a con with, maybe... the deer. Or the bunny.

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 02:59:00 GMT

The Name Game
1. YOUR SPY NAME (middle name and current street name):
Leigh Hudson

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME (grandfather/mother on your mom's sides name and your favourite candy):
Velma Rollo

3. YOUR RAP NAME (first initial of first name and first three to five letters of your last name):
S.Mat

4. YOUR GAMER TAG (a favourite colour, a favourite animal):
Green Kodkod

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, and city you were born in):
Leigh Wyandotte

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (first three letters of your last name, last three letters of mother's maiden name, first three letters of your pet's name):
Maybeahoo

7. JEDI NAME (middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backwards):
Hgiel Draeb

8. PORN STAR NAME (first pet's name, the street you grew up on):
Coquette Heartwick

9. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favourite colour and the automobile your dad drives):
The Green Mark VIII

10. YOUR ACTION HERO NAME (name of the main character in the last film you watched, last food you ate):
Wei Watermelon

\o/

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 22:28:00 GMT

Word.

Job interview is got!

Mon, 26 May 2008 22:05:14 GMT

So, I just got a call from one of the places that I put an app in, and they want me to come in for an interview this friday. I know it's silly to get excited over merely an interview because it's by no means a guarantee that I'm getting the job, but I'm still excited. Working on the assumption that I'll be making at *least* 150$ a week (::crossing fingers::) I'll be putting 50$ down each week for a car, 20$ a week for room and board, and the rest to go towards college and other expenses. Right now I think I only own one article of clothing that is younger than five years old, am in desperate need of new shoes, and I should really be setting money aside for my own place - but while my dad still needs me at home, I might hold off on that for a while. Plus, you know, school. And dental work. And new glasses, health insurance, driver's ed, what I owe my dad in past-due bills...

Jesus, having a job sucks.

Tue, 20 May 2008 03:00:52 GMT

Eldest brother is on the phone with me, drunk out of his mind. "I'm sitting on this guy's lap, man. I've known this guy forever. I mean, I've known this guy for longer than you've been alive." This guy's a little homophobic when he's sober (not as much than my one other brother, but still), so this just tickles me pink.

Sun, 18 May 2008 18:46:59 GMT

... And sometimes they're exasperating.
Four year old in the bathroom. "DA-DDY! Come wipe my butt!"
"Wipe your own butt."
"No! Never! I'll never wipe my own butt!"

Sun, 18 May 2008 15:07:16 GMT

Sometimes my nephews have moments of cute.

The nearly-three-year-old is deeply worried that our smiley-face cookie jar doesn't have a nose.

"Is a smiley face?"
"Yup."
"Where's the nose?"
"There is no nose."
"We find it?"
::laugh:: "No, Sprog, there is no nose."
"The nooooooossssee!" ::runs away::

Don't look, it's a meme!

Sun, 11 May 2008 02:19:46 GMT

Fri, 09 May 2008 21:11:32 GMT

In the past I've found that bouts of furious cleaning when I'm agitated/pissed off at a certain brother who has somehow been able to have a steady supply of pot every day for the past two weeks (but he's been stealing it from his friend, he swears!) helps calm me down, to turn that angry energy into something productive.

However, with today me being sick and hungry since I only ate a cup of Ramen, the whole cleaning thing? Not really cutting it.

I'd like to be able to go to the furmeet tomorrow, but unsure how. My usual ride is starting to (rightfully) want payment, but that's sort of impossible at the moment, and I live too far south for most people. Well... Ramien has offered in the past, but he needs to go home earlier than I'd like to leave.

Hey, I know what I should do!

Get myself my own damn car.

In other news, my dad is doing *so* much better! Since he wasn't considered an emergency anymore, the hospital wanted to put him in a rehab place to see if he's done any better. Since then, it's been like night and day. The first time I visited him he looked at me and blew me a kiss. He was very much with it, mouthing words at us since he stil had the trach in, nodding and shaking his head. He is still a little disoriented, but that's only to be expected. Some of the family are expecting him to make a complete recovery, but I'm still a little hesitant about that - he did have brain damage, and I'm preparing for the eventually that he might always be a little confused and out of it.

But it's a *hell* of a lot better than what the neuro specialist was telling us to expect.

Oh, yesterday my brother Nate visited dad (without me or Matt, mind; he left when I was still sleeping because gram wanted to do some running before they visited him) and they put his speaking trach in. Nate said his first words were, "Damn it!" He was still saying some strange things, like talking about "when he died" but still! He's talking! ::glee!::

I've only been up to see him once, but next time I'm up there I'm going to see if dad can focus enough to read, and if not I'll see about getting my hands on a couple audio books, because Dad's got nothing to entertain him there other than a TV with the most basic of basic channels.

Still. ::glee::

My eye hates me

Sat, 26 Apr 2008 23:37:18 GMT

For some reason my left eyelid is being weird. Every now and then it'd twitch, or when I blink it would not open all the way. Sort of worrying (yay, hypochondria! Not that I really have it or anything >.>) , but more annoying than anything.

I just needed to post something that isn't depressing :D